I'm ok, I'm ok.

Yesterday we took Chris' car to VW to get his coolant sytem checked since he had been topping it up with water when it became low. We both drove up, since they were probably keeping it over night. I made him take Iris with him since I was really nervous about driving to Madison. Silly, I know but I'm just uncomfortable driving to places I haven't ever been before. So, we dropped it off and then we went to East Towne Mall to look at winter coats. I said, no black and tried on coats at 3 stores before ending up at the ne we started at and picking out a black coat. It fit really nicely so I was overcome. When we took it up to the counter to pay the lady asked if could wait a few days for it and proceeded to give me a friends and family coupon to use Friday and get an additional 25% off. So she put my name on it and hung it in the back for me. We left feeling happy about nice people in the world and I made a very heavy casserole for dinner with leftover thanksgiving turkey breast.

Fast forward to this morning. I misread myalarm clock and thought it was 9 when it was actualy 8am. Then the phone rings at 8:15. "maybe it's someone calling you for a job!" I say. "or VW" he says back to me. Right, VW.... and back to sleep we both go. When we got up for good and I checked the phone for a message I found that the guy at VW had indeed left us a message and the Jetta needs just over $1100 in repairs. GREAT! because there aren't other things I'd rather spend a thousand bucks on... like, the mortgage. Oh wait, that's not all. We have an appointment to take Bob back in to the vet to see how his thyroid medicine is working. So that's another $130.

My mother booked a flight for Chris, Iris and I to come visit at the end of March. That's something nice to look forward to. She said to buy the coat anyway, that she would pay for it. This was after I said I didn't know if I would now since we needed to spend all that money on the damn car. So I'm going to put it on my Visa and she'll pay the bill. Really, we are so lucky that our parents are so supportive of us. I'm sure that things will turn for the better soon. I'll be applying for the Circulation supervisor job when J retires, ( I think I just mentioned that the other day) and Chris will find a job. Keep on keeping on. Everynight is a crap shoot with Iris, every day is a new chance. Right. Now, to sooth my soul.

~Night

The Great Beyond

I've watched the stars fall silent from your eyes
All the sights that I have seen
I can't believe that I believed I wished
That you could see
There's a new planet in the solar system
There is nothing up my sleeve

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

In all this talk of time
Talk is fine
But I don't want to stay around
Why can't we pantomime, just close our eyes
And sleep sweet dreams
Me and you with wings on our feet

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

I'm breaking through
I'm bending spoons
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond

I want the hummingbirds, the dancing bears
Sweetest dreams of you
I Look into the stars
I Look into the moon

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

I'm breaking through
I'm bending spoons
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond


by REM


...OVER AND OVER.

I forgot pictures!

Well, I didn't forget exactly. I just had to go to work. Pesky work, gets in the way of so many things.

Here is Iris and Grandma Fran on Thanksgiving. You can tell those two are related!

Iris the budding super-stars pictures in the front window of the local photographer.

Iris wearing daddy on her back. Wow, that girl is strong!

And... Lastly. It's our angel. She really is precious isn't she!

Work went alright after a rough start. B. told me that twice she had convinced some patron to not fill out a complaint form on me. I was totally shocked. Sweet innocent me... Anyway, long story short I got kind of upset, not really about that, but about somethign else she said afterward about another patron we had an issue with earlier in the month. But I talked to her about it before she left and she convinced me that we were good and she said... I'll do you one better.. and proceeded to tell me that she wanted me to be the new boss! The current supervisor is retiring in the new year and I have decided it would be prudent of me to apply for her job. So, that was a HUGE ego boost and after a rough patch made the rest of my day go really well. I was cheery! Working that FISH Philosophy! hehe.

Anyway, the end of the work day was topped off by W. bringing in this great sweater that she knit for Iris. It's varigated pink, turquoise and yellow with transparent pink buttons. Really pretty. Iris getting gifts is really as good as me getting anything for myself. Good thing too, since we won't be doing much for Christmas this year.

Well, I should go balance my checkbook! Wish me luck.

~S

Friday/Tuesday

I know, I know. It's Saturday... But! I am talking about yesterday, which was actually Friday but I had to constantly remind myself that it wasn't Tuesday.

Congratulations are in order. I finally planted the daffodil bulbs that I couldn't help myself from buying months ago because they were like 75% off at Walmart. I knew that I shouldn't have walked past to see if they were on sale, and then I knew that I would have no time to plant them because of the new center of the universe, Miss Iris Bukrey. but... I DID IT! It was after teh first snowfall, and freezing cold outside, but those babies are in the ground! ( by babies.. I mean bulbs. No babies were harmed in the making of this blog entry)

I work at noon today. Which means I should probably feed the baby before I go, but she's sleeping... we'll see if she wakes up in the next 15 minutes I may do it.

Yesterday a library patron that I haven't seen since before I had the baby said it was nice to have me back. It made my day. The little things... you know. Plus Wendy ( a new shelver at work) said she had something for Iris. I know she knits a lot so maybe it's a knit.. something. I'm quite anxious to find out.

We went to the inlaws for thanksgiving. The usual 2.5 hour trip took four hours. Mainlt because one 20 mile stretch of road was totally stop and go and took two hours! Thank got I has some milk in the car to put in a bottle for Iris or she could have been majorly cranky. Luckily on the way home the traffic was fine and she was an angel... sleeping the whole way home. I think she knw that momma and daddy's nerves couldn't have standed a crying jag at the end of the day. I'm getting ahead of myself though. We went up Wednesday, had a great dinner when we arrived of Lasagna and salad and bread. Oh.. and PIE. My mother-in-law makes the BEST pie ever. So even though I had eaten way too much in the first place I still had pie. On Thursday we had a repeat of too much food with all the regular turkey day favorites.

Iris got a cute pink breast cancer bear from her great grandma in Fl. ( by-way of grandma and grandpa who had just been down to visit. I guess they had a fundraiser or something there and they gave them out to all the survivors.

I have to get going.. but I had to mention... Thanks to Aunt Joan who apparently ready my blog and gave me the best compliment and made my day. She said that she liked my writing style and compared it to an author I quite admire. I always liked the way I write and this is the first time anyone has ever said anything. So, I'll be walking on that cloud all day. *beams.

~till next time.

The 28th anniversary of my birth.

Ahhhh. Here we are again. Another year older. Most definetly an adult, certainly late twenties. Really the age doesn't bother me. Although I wouldn't mind hitting pause, and possibly having Iris go to sleep easily. It doesn't seem to be happening though.

So, on my birthday it snowed, was well below freezing and seriously had the coldest windchill I've felt since.. well, last winter. I had to work on my regular day off at this inservice and I had to go to an unpaid work helth fair and get a flu shot. On a more positive note, there was a really nice card for me propped up against the coffee maker when I got up and when I gone home between the inservice and the health fair there was a gift ( flannel pj's, yay!)and a card from Iris. Who knew she could write. That baby is totally holding out on me.

We made bbq boneless country pork ribs with rice and lima beans for dinner. Since I really like this food, it was a perfect birthday dinner. I think the first one I've eaten at home in a LOOOOONG time. Chris made me orange dreamsicle cake for dessert and bought me 3 lottery tickets So if i don't post for a while.. cross your fingers that I won enough to quit my job and go on vacation with a full time nanny. ( yeah right) Maybe just a night nanny.

Well, I'm tired, have a headache, my arm kind of hurts and the baby is fighting us on going to sleep. I'm going to go to bed in my fuzzy new pj's and hopefully get some cuddles from my husband. Except for the work and the flu shot, it was a very nice day. A day with surprizes, and that my friends is a good day indeed.

I used to have a sleeping baby.

I don't know what is up with her lately. Daylight savings time, the new nightlight, four month growth spurt? Shadow also continues to meow in the hall, in her room in an attempt to get he to play... or something. I don't think he goes in her crib.. but when she wakes up for no reason I wonder. I don't know but she wakes up more, eats more and cranks more than she has since she was like 2 months old. The latest is that she wakes up about a hour after we put her down and screams, somehow Chris gets her back to sleep. I get her even more riled up.. I think because I smell like dinner. In fact, Chris told me to "go" tonight when I peeked in on him working his baby magic.

I just bought a Bumbo for Iris on Ebay. I think she will LOVE it. if not, it seems to have a booming resale value, so I can get my money back.

Chris' birthday was nice. He was surprised at the deluxe Matt Good CD/DVD set I got for him, (pre job loss). We made a pot roast in the crock pot for him and it was really good.

I STILL have not planted my flower bulbs.

Iris played super model on Saturday when we took her for her first ever professional portraits. She was amazingly good. All full of smiles and she had two different outfits. Some in a pink outfit and some as an angel. Tomorrow we go to see the proofs. We get a free 8x10 and I am not sure how much other pictures are. We shall see, perhaps the grandparents will want to get some.

There are severe thunderstorm watches on tonight. Weird.

I have been up since 5:30 this morning.

*leaving you with Iris and her Daddy on Daddy's birthday.

Wednesday...

Another week. Well then, what happened?

I worked Friday morning. Afterward I went a bought Chinese food at Grand China for us to have for lunch. Mostly I bought it for the fortune cookies.

When Chris was laid off from Apac in Chicago right after I moved to the States we gave up the lease on his apartment, stayed at his parents condo for a month ( they weren't there) and then moved to Stoughton in September. Once in a while, because it was inexpensive we would get Chinese. Some of the fortunes that we got during that time, and even while Chris was at USCellular before he was a coach were really great. The kind of things that make you hopeful when things are kind of rough. For our first wedding anniversary I mounted them on Asian rice paper and put them in a floating frame ( the kind you can see through, so the fortunes were just floating in the center). A symbol you know, of how we can go through anything together.

So, now with things back in a rough patch again, I reach for something that has worked in the past. It was the best Chinese food I've had in a long time, and the fortunes... Well, they were ok.

His: Your uniqueness is more than an outward experience.
Mine: Your original ideas will get you well deserved recognition.

Today we are going to pick up his things from work. A final visit, and end. Later, hopefully a beautiful beginning. I still so bothered though and much more for the betrayal than the actual termination. After all this time... and all he's done for them. Everything for me is so personal, and this just wrenches my guts at how cold it was. I'm an emotional sort of person and in my world, a world with many rules and guidelines based on what is right and what is wrong, there should be reasons! Clear cut reasons and a chance to make things better. No coming in to work and getting sent home. For good.

In with the box of stuff there should be a letter explaining why he was let go. I am both curious and terrified at what it might say. From a company that can so quickly switch from being supportive to cold and senseless, I suppose you never know.



I hope this wasn't too dark a post. Aside from my occasional fretting I really am upbeat. There really isn't a worst case scenario. Even the worst things end up with us all together, even if it is in an apartment and I really don't think it will come to that. Near the end of the month I think that he'll have to be a bit less discerning about what he applies for, but it will all work out in the end.

*cheers.

If I don't post again before then, think of Chris on Sunday. He will be 39 years YOUNG. hehe. He's going to Kill me.

~S