Working Mom

Well, it's true. I am back at work. It's really not all that terrible. It's more of a logistics thing. For example, how many times will Iris eat while at daycare and how rock hard my boobs will be and how much searing pain I'll be experiencing til we both get home and I get some relief while she eats. So far it isn't that bad. Monday Chris came home early because he wasn't feeling well, so I cancelled the sitter and he watched her the whole time. I wasn't really worried, this made it a lot easier to transition into Tuesday where I had to drive her somewhere and leave her there.

I was excited to see her when I was done work 4.5 hours later. However, while at work I did have to talk about her to a few of the regular patrons who noted that I was back and how was that baby. To which I gushed that she was great! and Huge and I couldn't wait till 12:30 so I could go pick her up and rub my lips against the top of her head. (Which is really growing back hair now, thank you very much)I didn't actually mentiont he whole lip rubbing thing, I suppose not everyone does that... and wants to nibble on those velvety soft apple cheeks. *sigh. It's official. I love this baby... Most of the time.

After arriving at daycare and seeing that she had a pretty bassinette in the main room with her name on it, the day care ladies told me how she had been so great! They hand me a sheet with what happened to her today. (ate 3oz at 11:00, one diaper change)I get one of these sheets everytime I pick her up. I will know everything that happens while she is at daycare! Every pee, poop and feed. Yay. Almost like being there, except I'm not. Really though, the worst part about it was that I drive to work now instead of walking and we aren't allowed to park in the library lot (during the day) so I had to park like 2 blocks away and I was like a minute late. No matter, I'll be faster next time.

Last night she was especially gassy and subsequently very cranky. She stopped crying only while eating. So she was really unhappy when I sat her up to burp her between slurps.

I bought a lot of 20 shirts on ebay on the weekend and that was at the back door when I got home yesterday as well. Twenty shirts for fifty dollars. Can you say BARGAIN! Wee, and although I haven't tried them on yet, there is a lot of nice stuff there. Iris may be subjectd to a fashion show this afternoon. I have been out of my "normal" clothes for so long I have to reassess what I have and see what fits and dream up new clothes combinations for work. I'm still lacking in a few areas.. I need more pants and a comfortable pair of dress casual shoes that don't look like something my Mom would wear.

I am going to try and have photos in every blog post now. So, here are some for today.

Iris on Monday holding up a rattle that I put in her hand. I really doubt she knew what she was doing... but she was shaking a rattle, on purpose or not! Amazing!

Also, for reasons of vanity. Here is a picture of me when I was 17 and had modeling photos done.
I never actually got prints done, my Mom wouldn't pay for them, but I had the contact sheet... and I was beautiful. Ah, to be 17 again.

The baby is good.

She's so good. She's better than me at dealing with things... like needles full of diseases jammed in her thighs. Granted she did cry throughout the jabbing, but she quieted right down once in Daddy's arms. I hadn't really thought much about it and then later I started reading about other peoples babies reactions to these shots at such a young age. Then I began to read more and the fretting ensued. I do tend to over think any things that I really shouldn't be thinking about all that much. Like whether or not library patrons like me or the overwhelming anxiety of putting the baby in her carseat and driving anywhere. It's a race against the clock, and I had a hard enough time going anywhere before I had Iris and now it is much worse. The funny thing is that once in the car I get this giddy, dizzy feeling where I feel like I want to go on a long drive. ( providing I don't have to make left turns onto a busy street or go anywhere I have not already driven previously with someone else with me in the car.) (yeah.. issues... I know) It feels like I'm flying and I think.. I could go to this store and that store but then once I'm in these store I can't concentrate on looking at anything for me. I spend some time looking at baby items but there's this awful nagging feeling to hurry up and get home. Home... where there is no anxiety of running out of time. Instead, at home there is the monotony of taking care of an infant. Feed baby (1/2 hour-45 minutes) , change baby and play (15 minutes-1/2 hour) , set baby down or hold baby in attempt to get her to sleep (1 1/2 hours). Repeat. Every 2.5 hours I begin to feed the baby again. I like to do it, it's the only thing that never fails to calm her but it makes getting anything done really hard. She's so precious though. She was so great all yesterday. I tried to give her extra cuddles and love so she didn't think that the pain and fever she probably felt didn't make her think we were bad people. She always sleeps really well on my chest which consequently makes me want to sleep as well. Something about that little, warm body and the rhythm of her breathing. Precious. Those are the things I really want to remember. That and the way she raises her eyebrow just like her Momma.

So, 24 hours after the shots she still totally fine. I guess her immune system is doing well. Clearly too this breastmilk stuff does a body good since she was 11lbs 14oz at nine weeks old! That's two ounces away from TWELVE POUNDS! That's over 2 pounds in a month! Still in the 90th percentile for height and weight for babies her age. *beams.




She has just started really grabbing things. Mostly just at my skin or my shirt when I'm feeding her. She doesn't cry a whole lot and really is mostly a joy to be around. She mimics facial expressions and MAN! The huge smile on her face when she realizes we are mimicking her back is sure a reason to get out of bed in the morning. It sure makes me forget about the gut-wrenching nausea and anxiety of those first weeks at home with a baby for the first time.

I'm out of milk.

I have been having cereal for breakfast since I found out I was pregnant. Up until that point I rarely bought milk at all. Now there's always milk and yogurt and calcium related stuff. Babies start using up the calcium in your bones if you don't get extra. Yesterday I finished teh last of the milk and totally forgot to tell Chris to buy more on his way home. Today I get out my bowl and then I remember... Obviusly my life is pretty easy if I'm this bummed about not getting cereal. Instead I had coffee with way too much vanilla creamer and leftover mexican rice and a burn hamburger patty.

Chris has been starting and ending work late on Thursdays this month. It is kind of nice having him here in the am a little longer but I hate that he isn't home till 7:30. The extra hour and a half is truely an eternity.

This morning he was gone before I started to pump after feeding her. I put her down in her crib and pray that she'll be entertained enough to not start crying while I sit helpless in the chair with no top on. ( heh) I sing to her, changing the lyrics to songs that pop into my head. For example "Don't cry for me Argentina" from Evita becomes "Don't cry for me Iris Bukrey" and the lyrical changes go down hill from there. I've made up songs since I was very small, my Mom wrote about it in this book she bought me called "To my Daughter, with love". It has all these blank spaces inside where you can write about all this different stuff about your life and their life in it. Reminds me that I wouldn't mind getting one for Iris. If I don't write about some of this stuff now I'll never remember!

Anyway... She started to cry and I put the tv on channel 23 which I don't get but has some great static white noise. Often it doen't work, but it sure did today! She's still passed out upstairs in her crib. Of course, having said that she will now wake up and commence crying again. I'm scared that I won't hear her crying over the static on the baby monitor. This is an irrational fear since her cry can definitely be heard over the static.

I wrote an email to the woman wo writes a blog I read a lot yesterday. She probably won't email me back. I feel like a big nerd about the whole thing, I'm sure I was gushing in the email about how much I liked her blog and how much we have in common.

Someone is stirring in their crib upstairs. So this is going to end abruptly...

One more thing quickly. Theonly kind of yogurt I eat are Whips! from Yoplait. They make some chocolate mousse ones now and they are SO GOOD! That's all I have to say!

baby's mad skillz

Iris is growing so fast and subsequently learning lots of new things. Her lastest accomplishment is "Drooling" and with that came "blowing bubbles" with said drool. I'm so proud. We finally have a use for all those bibs now! She is also heavy enough now that when she moves the bouncy seat actually bounces. We also had to take out the small head positioner from her carseat because he head is getting so big.

I got back to work in 2.5 weeks. I'm sort of looking forward to it. The break from the baby and actually seeing people since I don't leave the house much at all now. Not even out to the yard. My gardens are in shambles. The weeds... oh the weeds. It's enough to make me cry. I won't be planting any new bulbs this year. I'll be lucky if I can rake out the ones that became overgrown this spring and summer. It was also very hard to garden 8 months pregnant, but I sure did try.

Iris has very long eyelashes and really large hands. I am proud to say that I have not drawn blood trimming her nails ever! I'm also relieved to share that she *is* growing back hair where the hair fell out. It is a slow process, but soon she'll look less like an old man and more like a little girl. I think her eyes will stay blue, they really seem to be getting lighter. I don't think herhair will be red, seems to be coming back blonde but it is only like a millimetre long right now.

I quit paying back my student loans in Canada. The have begun calling me. Twice anyway where the phone actually said the banks name and they left one message. I really want to call them and say I don't make enough money right now, possibly after I have been back at work for a month or so. The account is in Canada and in my maiden name. It will mess up my Canadian credit, but that doesn't mean anything here. So I don't feel as bad about it. Plus! Shouldn't education be free? It's not like the fine arts degree has really gotten me much.Except creative problem solving skills and a $25,000 CDN debt.

Oh well.

It's about that time again...The toothless monster is getting restless.

RIP Reblogger

Long live Haloscan! It's such a pain losing ones comments. Not that I had a huge amount to start with.. But they were mine!

I'm sure people were dying to leave comments all week! Now you can!