Whoa...

Was it really that long since my last post? I swear.. I am in a freaking time warp.

It's the first day of June tomorrow... Crazy crazy. See the post below I just put online, but I jus tnow uploaded it because I meant to write more. Funny how that never happened.

Iris has been so sick.. Today she has this weird rash on her face and I went to daycare to drop of a check for this week and I wfound out that a child there had hand/foort/mouth disease and hrrrmmm.. I wonder if Iris has it too... If that is what is the matter with her lately... She is so not her usual cute self. Very cranky.. and wakes up too early at night. Too early is defined by before mom and Dad have been asleep for three hours. I think three hours is the minimum sleep length for me to not be really unhappy about being woken up.

We have already been up to her room tonight to feed and drug her. (tylenol and gass drops, shaken, not stirred.) Last night we didn't have to do this before we went to bed, but she was up from 1:30 till 3am crying till Chris gave her a watery formula bottle.( I had already nursed her) Even then she was still up at 5:30 and did not go back to sleep.

It really doesn't get any easier. You get used to it one way and at that precise moment she reinvents the game and makes something new and hard for us to deal with.



She sure is cute though.

You give me fever.

Ok.. maybe not. You give it to Iris. Iris, who has had a fever for the past two days. This is the first time she has been sick.. really then I guess.. I felt really awful when she had horrible colds and couldn't breathe.. but this fever thing is freaky. Her head and chest, and her little feet are so HOT. I feer her growing brain is going to boil in its own fluid. * ugh. We have take two cool baths together today. It was the first time she has worn her cute litle baby bikini that Grandma bought her in Canada.

It really is a horrible helpless sort of feeling. Of course, I read too many things and begin to worry more, pushing aside my calm reaction and plans of just more tylenol or motrin. That stuff really does help though. She has come down from 102.9 to 99. That's certainly progress. Or, maybe it was the bath.

It's really been a rough week baby wise... Iris got her two top front teeth this week, so she had been getting tylenol for that early in the week anyway. She is a practiced crawler and also has a slight clod.. runny nose or something for the past week as well. Yesterday things were agrivated I'm sure with almost five hours in the car and the heat.

I'm training the new circ clerk this week, so That will keep me busy.

Working hard for the money.

So... I am back at work, this time not working everyday. (not right this second) Oh wait.. I am working everyday. Heh. BUT! I am not working any 8 hour days this week. Next week, while I do work an 8 hour day, I will have a three day weekend.

Last week Chris got his unemployment check and it was around $150 less than it usually is. He thought.. Maybe cause it was the end of the month the pay period was short. It didn't sound that plausible to me.. And then when he went to file on Monday he found out the real reason. There's no more unemployment money for him. Zip. NAda. So, we are so totally poor. Well, not yet... But once the tax refund and the anniversary money are all gone, my paychecks combined will pay the mortgage and leave &380 left for bills. This is not enough. WEEEEEEEEEE! But anyway.. I am in high spirits.

Chris has a job interview next Tuesday. Maybe it will be something great. They asked for a salary range.. And he gave them one that reflects the low range of what he was making before and the high range, 20,000 more. They called, which means something in this range is possible. It really takes very little hope to keep me going. Even the absence of something very bad and a new day full of promise is also a huge help.

Why does Iris like to wake up at 5:30-6:30 and cry. I think I could even handle the early time if she started cooing in her crib. The crying grates on my mostly-not-awake nerves. She also does not fall back asleep when brought into our bed, which used to always work. She is still getting up at least once in the night. Luckily this hasn't been before 2:30am so I haven't been all that upset. I'm being tested! I really don't think I want any more children. I really don't think I could take the sleep disruptions again.. Plus Iris the toddler. Ask me again in a year or too... Even Chris agrees right now.. But he says maybe he'll think differently once Iris is older. I know that "someday" I won't remember all this.. And I'll wish I had my little baby back. I already have the pangs now because I stopped pumping in the morning and my milk supply has gone way down. Iris should get some bottles of formula to supplement. I tried to last night and it made me feel bad. A weird ache. The time is slipping away, she is already so big. She is crawling toward the mirror we put on the floor so she could see herself. She can really move... Turn away and she has disappeared... Where is she? UNDER THE SOFA! heh.

Where was I. Iris... Is the coolest. A superstar everywhere she goes. I am learning patience. Or.. I am learning that I am impatient, but now I realize I do it and can step back and chant she's only a baby. I say this so often, (I'm boring you, I'm sure) It is the hardest thing I have ever done and wow... The most amazing. This little person... is so cool. I'm learning a lot. Like that I have to make sure Chris is awake if I leave the bed so Iris doesn't crawl off of the bed and fall on the floor. Ooops. She's fine though, me leaving my clothes all over the floor has really paid off.

Here is Iris having some fun in the grass. It was her first time eating grass and tasting oak leaves. She didn't like the leaves, but kept trying them anyway.



This summer is going to be so fun!