off on a tangent...

Annual blog post.

2009-07-27T18:25:00.000-07:00

I was just begging for a new video camera on Amy's blog and figured it was time to update my own.. which is severely behind.

So.. what have I been doing you may wonder... It's been a heck of a year.

As you know, I was pregnant with baby number 2, a boy. Emmett was born November 1st, 5 days late. The longest 5 days of my life.
A couple months before I was due to have Emmett, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is tough news to hear at any time, least of all when 9 months pregnant and really hormonal. Mom was very lucky and ended up having two surgeries and some radiation after her pathology came back clean in her lymph nodes. Huge relief. Take that Cancer! You couldn't beat my Mom!
Mom was able to change her plans a bit and come visit with me before her surgery, which was part of the reason we were bumming that Emmett was late and didn't get to meet Grandma till one of the other catastrophic events of the past year.

So... Emmett was such a great baby. right from the start, he was only getting up once in the night which was so wonderful.. and then at some point ( 5 weeks) he started having blood in his stools. Yeah.. it was alarming. So I quit eating dairy rather than stop nursing him. I missed cheese, but loosing all the pregnancy weight and almost an extra 20 pounds was great! I anticipate gaining it back once I start eating dairy again.. if I CAN... I have heard that sometimes being off it for a long time can affect your ability to process it. *sigh.. Will I ever eat pizza again?

We all went on this no dairy diet ( at home at least, and we really didn't feel deprived once we added soy back in.) and got to try a lot of really good recipes. The really good news is that there is no dairy in BACON.

In April Emmett was 5 months old. In April on the Friday before easter Chris came down the stairs saying that he thought Emmett was having a seizure. I told him he was crazy and it was just him choking on some post nasal drip from the runny nose he always seemed to be having. The next day he did it again when I was leaving for work. His eyes would roll upward, his body tensed up and his arms and legs lifted up. It lasted seconds, but would repeat over and over to a count of about 10 times. Saturday evening it happened again and Chris found a video on you tube of a child doing what Emmett was doing, and now we had a name, and something to google. Infantile spasms. Infantile spasms is an extremely serious form of epilepsy that only infants get. So on Sunday, when he had his 4's episode of these spasms, I called the nurse line for more information. She said that I should go to the Children's hospital to Emergency and have him looked at. I did.

At first it seemed like they thought I was imagining something and were just going to send me home.. and then he had one there and knew it was unsettling. They gave him and EEG and glued electrodes all over his little (BIG) head. Apparently what they saw was textbook Hypsyrithmia ( chaotic brain waves) and can be devastating to Children, severely inhibiting their development. The neurologist came down and told me that they saw hyps in Emmett's EEG and that they would admit him to the hospital to treat him for Infantile spasms. All I remember really was the Dr. telling me that is was very serious and they would begin treatment right away.

Even now it is so surreal to think about all this. I never really felt like it was happening, and I was in some crazy dream. Emmet started on prednisolone ( a steroid) while we waited for insurance to approve the standard treatment drug ( ACthar gel) ACTH which comes for the bargain price of only $30000 a vial. We had a three week treatment and used three vials. I am very glad I have insurance, and that they approved it even though it vastly exceeded their weekly maximum. ( by a lot I think)

Emmett had his last spasm on May 1st, his last injection on may 8th (Oh did I forget to mention that we had to give him a shot in his little baby thighs every day?). So now he has been seizure free for almost 3 months. We feel so blessed. We are very thankful for Emmett's health, and for friends and family in general. You go day by day because you have to. We don't want to get ahead of our selves.

Emmett has no real delays for his illness. Possibly about a month behind when he was having spasms and treatment. He is sitting, almost crawling and all those things babies do at almost 9 months old. His infantile spasms were the kind with the best outcome, idiopathic. This means that there was no know cause. His MRI showed no problems with his brain, and his development was normal prior to the spasms starting. So we don't know why... and really since it is gone, I don't care. My son is back, and the ordeal is more than I'd wish on anyone... When on ACTH all he did was eat and cry.. The steroids make them get big puffy faces. We had to go to the clinic twice a week for blood draws, stool cards ( to check for blood) and to get his blood pressure check because the drug can cause hypertension. He never smiled or did any endearing sort of thing that babies do. It had gotten to us and then when we finally got a smile and then a laugh when he was almost weaned off his medicine we were overjoyed. You can't go back from that. You just want to squeeze them and never let them go.

It was really hard to leave him at daycare and go to work. I never loved a weekend so much. I'm sure I'm missing alot more details... but man.. what a couple months...

The more recent thing is that we applied for a loan to build our addition last week. We got a new plan this year, and a new builder. So.. I'm sure I'll have a remodeling blog post in the futire.. and if it doesn't happen.. a moving blog! But I hope it doesn't get to that.

Go give someone you love a hug.
-S

That's what I get...

2008-07-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

I got a new truck. a newer version of what I had. Black 1999 4runner 16-20 mpg. * awesome. Good thing I mostly just drive to and from work which is about a mile each way. As with all cars I've ever bought, I have a period of adjustment where I worry that I've made a mistake and that I've gotten a huge lemon of a car. This one was no exception. A week into owning said new car I was at peace with the broken power antenna and digital clock. The truck runs well and has a bunch more power than the '93 did. Plus, it has a scoop! it's decorative, but it's HOT. hehe.

So, I'm driving the truck to Madison for a dr's appointment. I brought a cd, because I wanted to try out the stereo. I brought Sarah Harmer - we were here, Kevin... Sounded great, I was happy, feeling good. Probably on a sugar high from the orange drink I had downed as part of my 1 hour glucose test. About 10-12 miles from home as I'm driving up a hill my CHECK ENGINE LIGHT comes on. Now... that was a short high... I called the dealer, and got a call back later from the sales guy. He said it had happened before, but now they would know before what the problem was. All I know if that he probably shouldn't have said that to me, because to me that constitutes a "Known issue" that wasn't on the buyers slip. This means to me that they are paying for this problem to be fixed. I also took the truck over to my mechanic to check the error code and they cleared it for me. Chris and I tested it by going for a drive to Verona to pick up a Radio Flyer tricycle for Iris that someone had up on Craigslist. On the way back, the light went back on.

I am getting big and starting to have hip pain and have trouble finding a comfortable position to sleep. I'm sure this will be my last pregnancy and I think I have mostly been too preoccupied with all the other things I have been trying to manage to be more conscious of it.

On the weekend Chris mowed the lawn. He mowed the way back part too and he and Iris were picking up sticks back there before hand. I brought a chair out and sat. It was so beautiful... We really never use this part of the yard because it is often so overgrown. When it's mowed you can remember all the possibilities it has and it makes you want to get going on them. Unfortunately, there's not a lot one can get done when walking across the yard makes you want to sit down and rest. I did have the bright idea of putting some mulch around the pole that the trumpet vine grows up. I got a shovel full and decided that I should get the wheel barrow, or this would take forever. I had it about half full when the shovel full I dumped into the wheel barrow had all these round things..
My mind raced, Pingpongballs, no, mushrooms, no OOHhhh.. so that's where the turtle laid her eggs. It's not everydy that you dig up freaking turtle eggs in your pile o' mulch. [ Over a month ago, a large snapping turtle had been hanging around ours, and the neighbour's yards.. She was next to my truck one morning with her butt in the dirt, and Chris roped off the area so we wouldn't hurt the eggs. Guess they aren't there!)]

Fun and games here in Wisconsin.
What creatures live in your back yard?

Overachiever hits road block.

2008-07-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, I know it has been a while. I haven't felt like writing. Here's what is going on over here of late.

I'm pregnant! 25 weeks on Monday and.. it's a boy. Chris and i looked at each other at the ultrasound and commented to each other about how everyone will say "how perfect!" One of each... Chris is tickled, I think. I was convinced I would have two girls.. which is why I'm having a boy, I suppose. After initial freak out, I *am* looking forward to having a boy. If it had been two girls, I bet I would always wonder what a boy would have been like. Plus, I don't have to worry about competition for my affection in that way.. they will be so different. Iris will always be "my girl". I'm glad of that, I love the stage she is at, I love talking to her. Oh.. the things she says.. priceless.

The other thing is that since we are expanding the family, our space will be getting even smaller. Our third bedroom, at roughly 7x9ft is scarcely more than a closet. Fine for a baby I suppose, but then there is no where for guests to stay, and when we live so far from families, a place for guests to sleep is really a necessity here. So, in March or so we signed a contract to have plans drawn for a home addition that was within our budget. We liked the plan a lot and were anxious to begin... So, while trying to get bids.. a contractor recommended that we got to zoning to have them check our plans over to see if we could build them. Mostly this was to see if they would allow us to keep our septic system while adding another bedroom/ office. From here we found out that we had to have our septic system tested to see if the area three ft below the drain field was free of defects/ contamination. So, we had the test done... We failed the test, with them finding bacterias at 9ft below, where our tank vent in 9.5 ft deep. So... we have been "condemned" by the county and have to have the septic system replaced. The bright side of that is that we have room to get a conventional gravity fed system which is substantially less money than a mound system. We are extremely lucky to be able to do this while living on the river. ( whew)

Of course, this now takes up $5000 of our budget. A budget which is not huge to start with. Then, the day after the news of the septic needing to be replaced I had an appointment at zoning again to talk about getting a variance for our house plans. The plans had the garage extending 11 feet ahead of the house. I found out that our house is roughly 25 ft from the right of way and the minimum set back is 30ft. The house, of course, is grandfathered in, but the zoning administrator assured me that there would be no way a variance would allow something to be built that close to the right of way, especially with the other factors of us needing to have the septic replaced anyway, thus giving us other home plan options.

In addition, on my way back to my car, I heard crunching metal, and saw a lady hitting my car in the parking lot. She had insurance, which I got.. and they are fixing the damage to my car. Still, a prefect end to a rather disappointing day.

Here we are, four months into planning with little more than a better understanding of how we should proceed to build an addition. No plans, no bids, no builder. Six and a half months pregnant and frustrated beyond belief. To top things off, the guy that drew the now useless plans has left the company, so I'm not even sure where that leaves us with the home design contract. Time will tell.

Stay tuned.. I'll certainly have something to say.

Quarterly post...

2007-12-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

Well. Here we are again. That was one of the fastest 4 month stretches ever and so much happened, that I'm not sure where to start.

I did a semester of graduate school. It was very interesting and I loved going to class. I met a bunch of cool people and I now know that I am smart enough. I came out with a grade of AB. I haven't been to school yet to pick up my last paper and grade sheet, but I saw the grade online. While I loved going to the class and reading the articles and books assigned for class, I hated writing most of the papers. I was always happy with the end product, but the writing process, for me is so painful and with the distractions of home and work, it compounded the difficulty. I started grinding my teeth again and I was just so stressed out I couldn't relax at home because the assignments were weighing so heavily on my mind.

I decided mid term that the stress of it wasn't worth it to me right now. That I wanted to be able to relax and spend time with my family and have just.. some time to do things I like to do at home. I now know how much time I have to do things like this. I plan to savour it. I feel lighter with out a class to go to, but I already miss the class its self and the new friends I have made there. Hopefully I'll be able to keep those friendships up, even though I'm not part of the school right now.

One thing that this has done for me is make me more confident. I can drive around in Madison where before I was very nervous. I kind of get the layout, where before I had no idea where I was. I learned how to have something that was for me, and I liked it. The freedom was really different, a lot different fro whe I was getting my undergrad at OUC all those years ago.

I just bought a kiln from someone on Craigslist and I hope to learn how to fuse and slump glass. Just as soon as Chris wires me a 240V plug for it. I've been crocheting a lot, I really missed that this fall, and I had hoped to crochet all sorts of gifts for people, that just never got done because I had no time to work on them. I hope that I will spend my newly freed up time of more creative endeavors.

I had my annual review on Thursday. It went well. My boss is retiring in June and I get along with her so well, I'll be sad to see her go. She was a good mentor and at my review she said that she hoped I wouldn't wait too long to go back to school because she thinks I would be a great Librarian. That really made me feel good. :) Change is hard right. But most good things are hard, or is it really worth it? I'm a little apprehensive about what will happen when we get a new director, they may not have the same vision as we are used to and there may be even more changes ahead.

I turned 30 in November. A symbolic birthday, a leaving behind of youth, a certain responsibility has come and, I guess a power.. and confidence. I'm not really mourning the loss of the youth, but getting very nostalgic for everything that happened in my 20's. A whole lot of things... All contributing to what I have become.

I'm in a good place. It's almost Christmas and I'm looking ahead to the new year. Exciting... and full of possibility.

happy holidays people.

xox
-S

I'll say "what happened?".

2007-09-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

I said it today a lot... Where did the summer go? I can't believe it's September. I don't know where it went. I sure had a great time even though it went quickly. Our trip to BC was great, but hard to come home. Different from last time where I was more homesick for Wisconsin.

So now I give you the Summer in Review...

Iris turned two in July. It was a lovely day and she had some little friends over and some of my friends and I made a cake ( and decorated it) and we had snacks and it was a nice afternoon.

We went to BC for 10 day at the beginning of August. There was camping in Edgewood and hanging out at my Mom's house and at the beach. The weather was great, except for the day we left, when it rained, as if to make it easier for us to leave.

I didn't get the WLA WELead award that I was hoping for so my attention turned to Graduate school. I couldn't get Chris to agree right away... so finally, when we got back he said I could go. Nine hundred dollars later I am a UW - Madison special Student taking one class. This one class, providing I do well in it will hopefully be my ticket to actually being able to get into Grad school since my undergrad marks are less than stellar. I don't think those grades are a reflaction of my actual potential... heh... so I'm sort of terrified that I am actually just stupid and it wasn't just the personal problems of the time. We shall see! I will have to organize my time a little better.

This will probably mean I'll write less.. or not.. I may procrastinate writing papers and blog about not writing papers...

I'm excited. I am terrified. It's the start of something so new, so different. I'm sure it will be fine, but untill I have the first class... I'll worry about it.

Even though I haven't been posting, I have been reading everyones blogs and hunting for people on facebook. :0)

Lots of pics on Flickr, check them out. Get an account and you can comment there also.

Till we meet again.

working title

2007-06-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I had a circ desk shift to cover a vacation day. I normally go in to the library first thing on Thursdays to have the afternoon free. This time, I started at 12:30, so Iris and I got to have a slower start. I like these lazy mornings. I drink two cups of coffee and iris has breakfast a her little table in the living room. When she is done she climbs up next to me in the most impossibly small spot so she can cuddle on my lap. It would be easier if she climbed up on the other side, but I think she must like that I help her up and pull her into place. I can rest my chin on her curly blonde head.

Thursday was also the first day of Summer. It started out sunny and when we went outside to get in the truck we were greeted by butterflies. Many butterflies. There are a lot of red admirals this year and every where you looked you would see them fluttering around.

The other day Iris climbed up onto my lap and I cradled her like an infant. Then I started to sing "rock a bye, baby" to her and she chimed in. She knows the words now after hearing it so many times. My not-so-little baby.

Just last night at bedtime we were reading a story we have read a million time and I turned a page and she said "nonoyousaythatisn'trightthepigssayoinkalldayandnight" it was all together like one word really, but she said everything there. Chis and I were so surprised and thrilled. Every day is like that now. Children are so amazing.

:)

I have a great excuse.

2007-05-28T19:25:00.001-07:00

My computer died. It had been freezing up with more and more frequency and then it was having trouble actually booting. It would misfire or something.. The fan was on and.. eventually I could get it on after about two tries. The last time it booted up there were red bars here and there. It was very apocalyptic. It never booted again.

*sniff.

I wasn't in a huge hurry.. and I used Chris' laptop to check my email and that's about it.

I am remaining optimistic that I can retrieve some files, mostly pictures off of my old hard drive, but I may not... I'm sure I will live.

We put the dock in and it looks nice and I'm sure we'll fix the wobble on the second section soon enough.

I got a new computer yesterday. Huge deal and it came with a flat panel monitor, so my desk is no longer completely covered by a HUGE old style monitor.

I took a bunch of pictures today, so I should have a bunch of new stuff on the Flickr soon.

Wish you were here.

2007-04-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

Issued at: 2:58 PM CDT 4/10/07, expires at: 9:30 PM CDT 4/10/07

Winter storm warning in effect from 1 am to 10 pm cdt wednesday,
The NWS in milwaukee/sullivan has issued a winter storm warning, which is in effect from 1 am to 10 pm cdt wednesday.
Snow or a cold rain is expected to develop over southwest wisconsin this evening, before spreading across southern wisconsin as a mix of rain and snow tonight. The precipitation will turn to all snow late tonight last through Wednesday evening.
8 to 10 inches of heavy wet snow is expected by early Wednesday evening. The heaviest snow should fall from late tonight into the early afternoon hours Wednesday. East to northeast winds of 20 to 30 mph with gusts to 40 mph may create blowing and drifting snow as well.
A winter storm warning is issued when snow is expected to combine with strong winds of 20 mph or more. This will make travel dangerous and power outages may result.

Iris of my eye.

2007-03-23T06:08:00.000-07:00

Iris is 20 months old. When she sees the glass manequin heads in the dining room she bellows.. Daddy! When she sees a picture of basket ball platers she says excitedly... Daddy, Daddy! Bald=Daddy. The connections she makes are really the coolest.
The pink cover for the hole in the wall in our bed room ( for an old coal stove probably) is the moon and the ceiling is the SKY, SKY!

Yesterday Iris and I sang twinkle twinkle little star all the way through together. (ok.. she didn't say everyword, at least, not the right word. But she was singing the whole way through and we started out the start of each line the right way.) I was so happy all the way through that I could barely keep singing. My eyes got all watery.

The cuteness... It's overwhelming.

memory.

2007-03-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

My grandmothers house had bright blue and green shag carpet in the living room and dining room. She had a starburst clock in the kitchen above the olive green formica table with chrome edges. In the kitchen there was a cubby where the ironing board flipped out that was still in use. Below that was her microwave cart and under that was this Thing I loved. it was a twister-cizer ( or somethign like that) it was a blue square platform that you were meant to stand on and twist yourself thin. I would sit on it and spin around until I got so dizzy I would sprawl out on the floor till I could see straight.

In the corner of the living room behind the bright orange sectional was a built in floor to ceiling lamp with three cylindrical colored glass lamps extending off of it. The kind that you would twist to turn on one, two, three or no lights. At the end of the sectioal was an endtable that had a set of three cobalt blue glass birds on the upper shelf.

I see it all so clearly. The green refigerator, the tiny colored glass bottles on the windowsill surrounded by sunny yellow valance curtains. When my grandmother died, I wondered who would be getting those small glass bottles. But I never actually got to go back to her house when I was there for her funeral. I never asked anyone about them because once, when I was a child I had talked about how one of my Mom's friends should leave me something when she died... My Mother gave me such a stern talking to on the drive home I have kept such thoughts to myself since.

Those bottles were what started me on my love of old glass, particularly olf bottles. Although I don't really care what size they are now-a-days.

I like this type of post. I think it keeps memories alive. It's cool how when you sart thinking about one thing, you can remember many thing that went with it. The same is true of photographs. You see that record of a time, an event and you remember the details. I'm going to try and remember more things to share, and thus freshen the memory of them in my own mind.

I think I'll also ask my Mom to ask someone about those bottles. ;)

slacker

2007-02-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

Tonight we are having a Blizzard. Seriously. An honest to God blizzard as decreed by the national weather service. It is quite beautiful. It is also times very well since I have three days off, including Sunday.

Iris starts new daycare a week from Monday. She has gone to hang out there twice and I am pretty comfortable with leaving her there. I'd better be... for what is costs per week. heh. Speaking of Iris... She is twenty months old. She is a monkey, she is absolutaly crazy, impulsive and beautiful. Today, she knocked over a floor lamp. I ran over there so fast I lost a slipper. I could feel her little heart beating fast in her chest. She did not cry. My baby is tough, she is strong. My baby is quickly becoming NOT a baby.

We are catching up with old tv and watching four hours of taped American Idol. My favorite part is seeing the parents, spouses and family being so proud of the person they know singing. Espcially the parents... Proud parents. What a feeling. I experience it more and more. It is really the best thing.

I know I don't post much.. but man.. when is there time. Time is a hot commodity around here. Generally it is not spent on the computer. My how times have changed. I think that's an interesting topic all on its own. How my new life began almost solely on the internet and I am pulled further away.

I always think of cool things to write about when I am miles from the computer.. like in bed at night.. or at work. I should keep a little pad with me. Seriously. quality stuff. :D

Well, we'll see if I can open the door tomorrow.. we are supposed to get up to 14 inches by tomorrow night. That's on top of the 6 inches we just got last night. Plus theres all the blowing... there are huge drifts. My camera will have fresh batteries tomorrow, and I shall be taking pictures of the aftermath.

Stay tuned!

Genius!

2007-01-21T12:12:00.000-08:00

So, Chris and I were in the living room chatting and listening to Iris on the monitor. Iris was awake from her nap and playing with this butterfly that plays Twinke, twinkle little star. Then there was a silence, we discussed getting her and bringing her back down stairs. Then, over the monitor we hear her start to talk. One, two three, four, five, seven she says to her stuffed friends in the crib.

My daughter, 18 months and one day old, is a brilliant child.

*beams.

From Flu to Funk.

2007-01-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

Holy alliteration batman.

So, yeah... I had back to back sicknesses and two weeks of family houseguests and now I have good health and empty house. Oh, and a funk. A funk I am working on getting rid of. I haven't wanted to really do anything, I am now trying to do things to help myself feel better. I went to the gym today for the fist time in a month. I really missed it. The act of going is still there, but once I'm there it just feels so good and I can imagine losing more weight and moving down sizes and it makes me look forward. Looking forward is definitely part of getting out of a funk. I had lost 5 pounds from going to the gym for? two months... it's not the best, but it's better than gaining weight. The I lost 5 pounds from all the sickness. I have not weighed myself since I started with the antibiotics, and since then I have actually had an appetite again, and Christmas season food that I NEVER have in the house, except when I recieve it as a gift. Thank's to the neighbours for the Whitman's Sampler, it was delicious.

Tomorrow Chris and I are going to Milwaukee because I have an appointment at the US Citizenship and Immigration services application support center to have my biometrics taken. Biometrics, for as ominous as it sounds is basically them taking my fingerprints. So, it is a long drive for a short appointment. I'm hoping to stop at the houtlet mall on the way back and look around.

Well, not thrilling, but it's more of an explaination for why I don't even have the energy to write about the boring things going on.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

After Stomach flu, pink eye, stomach flu and stomach flu there was MORE. Luckily just for me. ( Not lucky for me, mind you) I had a really sore throat blah blah blah... Long short, after a week and a half and two trips to the Doctor I was dignosed with an ear infection and bronchitis. I have antibiotics now and I feel so much better.

I'm really excited for Christmas. Iris is going to get so much, and I will get to unwrap most of it! Score! I have all of the wrapping to do still, so that will take a bunch of time. Maybe later tonight, or tomorrow.

Tomorrow we are taking Iris for photos with Santa. Any bets about whether or not she will cry?

I just read about issues on blogger, so we'll see if this actually posts.

Stomach flu,

2006-12-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

Stomach flu, pink eye, stomach flu and stomach flu.

Can you say quarantine? We should have been under one... The stomach flu is rampant here. Daycare, the Library and now possibly Chris' work.. since he is the lastest victim of the heinous flu.

I got a flu shot.. so I think my case was more mild than his.. but still... That baby is making us all sick way more than we have been.. combined even in YEARS!

Well, I can't believe how incredibly boring my potential blog posts are lately. I have zero interesting thing to say.

So, here are a few incredibly dull things that I will attempt to make thrilling.

Tomorrow! I have a meeting from 9-10, about which I cannot say because I signed a non-disclosure agreement. Top secret library business. Muahahaha. Very very mysterious, huh. I bet you are writing in anticipation.

I fear I am going to craft swap hell. I have begun this scarf that I have to make countless times. I have also unceremoniously decided it was crap and started something else a short time later man many times. I like the one I am working on now, yet.. I should be wroking on it now but i just feel so weak I think I'll go to bed instead. To bed... at 9:30. Sigh. ( I'm sick!)

Iris is a big girl. Certainly not a baby. Um... ok, that took a lot of effort. But, I wanted to let people know that I am around. I'm just getting ready for Christmas and working and getting better from this flu thing... Staying hydrated is hard work.

So: What should I write about next? Give me a topic.

orange creamsice cake.

2006-10-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

Dear god. This cake will be my down fall.

I've been busy, and I've been in a funk. So many things... Work, impending new neighbours.. so much that annoys me, and underlying things that I'm not ever really conscious of bringing me down.

Last Friday I was so bummed. I ever cried at daycare... so not cool. It was a strange sort of melloncholy. I couldn't put my finger on it, I was just sad. Very unlike me. I've probably said it before here that a good nights sleep is probably why I stay so even tempered. I had been sleeping, at least no worse than I have been since the baby was born. One of the girls at daycare thought maybe I was sad about Iris growing up, this is something I haven't ever considered. She is growing up and I never thought about how I felt about it. It is so fast. Babies grow quickly.

Iris repeats words that we say now. Tree, leaf, ba(nana) shoe, tur(t)le, bo(at) etc. She plays with the toys we put in the bath tub with her now. She knows that the people fit in the boat and the turtle and she can switch them. She has gone from only dumping her fisherprice rings to also stacking them back up. SO cool. So many things are just clicking.

Well, long story short, I felt better the next day. If not normal, just much better than the previous day. Time goes so quickly that before I knew it after an extremely busy week at work it was friday again and now I have three glorious days off.

Hate to cut things off in the middle.. but I must get to bed... and if I save this to draft.. I'll never post it.

Knows how to party...

2006-09-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

Iris has molars. Two shiny new molars hard won with motrin and restless nights. She is still missing the second set on the bottom, but the molars.. they are here.

On Monday left work half an hour early to go and plant some hostas I had gotten from a lady on Freecycle. There were two large clumps and I had to divide them, then plant them. I got it done in an hour and went to get her at 5. When I got there I didn't see her in teh main room.. I thought maybe she was napping... or getting changed.. and then one of them started to sound familiar... I had not dressed her for a cold day... and I forgot to put socks on her till we were att eh truck and I was running latre.. and I figured.. oh since it's going to be in the 70's today.. It would be fine. Well.. they had her in a little boys navy blue sweatshrt and she does make an awfully sweet little boy. Her eye was tearing and a little gooey and I wondered what happened.

The next morning Chris got up with her at 5:30 out of frustration from her NOT SLEEPING. I stayed in bed for nearly an hour. He told me that her eye was all red underneath... Oh I say... back to sleep. When I got down stairs after a quick shower I saw the red... I should take her to the Doctor I guess right? Yeah.. so Appointment isn't till 11 and Daycare won't let me bring her because they think it sounds like she has pinkeye. I call in to work... "I won't be there this motning and if she has pink eye I need someone to work for me in the afternoon because she has to have been getting treatment for 24 hours before they will let PInky back at daycare."
Blah blah blah...
LOng story short is that The Doctor didn't like the way the eye looked and prescribed antibiotics. Also, a follow up appointment the next day. The next day Ibring her in and Dr. P. notices that it is red on her top eyelid and that means.. after two doses of antibiotics, that things are not better or even the same. Things are worse. So... She wants us to go to the hospital and put Iris on a IV antibiotc drip to see if that makes it better. So.. that's what we do. I call Chris at work ( I got the number out of the phonebook... I never know the cell number and I keep forgetting to put his card in my wallet.) and then I call work to say.. I can't come in for off desk and I'll need to get someone to cover my evening shift because I HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND HAVE MY BABY PUT ON AN IV.
Seriously. SO weird.. so surreal. I still question that it actually happened because How could things ever be anything else than ok. Things work out for me. They get better. I suppse this time they did aswell, but not without having the staff have one baby vein blow and then after I left because i couldn't take the crying they called in another nurse to hold my sweet , strong baby down so they could get the catheter, finally in her hand. Her hand, incidently, that never got the numbing stuff put on it.
So, all afternoon and evening Iris had a drip of saline and some antibiotic in her little hand. Well, really it stopped being her had after they taped her arm to a board and wrapped it up with stretchy pink tape with purple hearts. Then it was girlie baby club.
Things looked better in the morning and after a couple more doses of teh antibiotic they unhooked her and let us all go home. Glorious home. She looks better and she is happy and running around the very, very cold house. ( go to the hospital one night and someone turned on the winter.)

To be continued...

times are a changing...

2006-09-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

I swear to god I found a grey hair tonight. I have to inspect it later.

The Pixies are on Austin city limits right now! I heart The Pixies. :D Heh.. am I showing my age?

~

Dreams of bees.

2006-08-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

Bees:
To see bees in your dream, symbolizes good luck, harmony, and bliss. Bees are also symbolic of work and industry as represented by the common phrase "busy as a bee."
To dream that you are stung by a bee, signifies unexpected misfortune. You will be surrounded by trouble and severely reprimanded.

Wasp:
To see a wasp in you dream, signifies angry thoughts and feelings.
To dream that you are stung by a wasp, symbolizes growing envy and hatred towards you.
To dream that you kill a wasp, signifies your fearlessness to ward off your enemies and maintain your ethics and rights.

I have been dreaming of bees. Flying things and buzzing. Could it be one of these meanings? Perhaps. What I think it really means is that the buzzing coming from my bedroom wall is getting to me. That's right, we have wasps living in the exterior wall of my bedroom. The sound that was once masked by the air conditioner or the fan is clearly audible while lying in bed. Now, if that isn't a reason for insomnia, I don't know what is. Yet, I still sleep. I sleep fine, but these winged insects have invaded my head. I walk by and I pound on the wall to make them buzz louder. Me thinks this is not a good tactic.

I called exterminators yesterday to find out the approximate cost of ridding my wall of these beasts. They all want to get you set up with a regular schedule of treatment that will also kill all the other bugs in my house. I don't mid the other bugs though, even though the spider webs along the ceiling are getting unsightly even to me. The down side to all this is that it's amazing how fast money goes when you pay for two weeks of daycare and long overdue medical bill is paid. We get more money on the first, but that's for the mortgage. Chris gets his first check on the 7th of September. (YAY) So, perhaps I will be rid of my most obnoxious houseguests then.

Iris is awake. There are no bees in her walls. yet.

-S

Little things.

2006-08-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

I was awoken this morning by the squall of my child. ( Technically it was fourth time I had been awoken by the infant since I went to bed last night, but who's counting.) It was after 8:30 so I figured I had better get up and see the two down stairs and make sure Chris wasn't cutting the baby's fingers off for touching his laptop and starting bios. ( The cat can do this, so I'm sure Iris can too)

While all fingers remained intact she did have a fat lip from one of her infamous I-forgot-I-had-arms faceplants. We took pictures... I'll post one later. Teeth all still there, a little split in her lip.. but she's fine. It helps her look tough, a nice balance to her too-cute baby looks.

I was watching her play with sunshine on the floor. Pawing at it as though she could pick it up. I can't wait to show her dust in sunshine, like pixie dust, sparkling in the air. I am often struck by the wonder of all she has to learn. With everything new, it will be new for Chris and I as well. An eye opening experience I bet.

We watched 'The Constant Gardner' last night. It was very good. One of those movies that make you feel small and powerless and ache for the people of the world.

That's it for now.

two posts in two days... scroll down for the other.

Things.

2006-08-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

There are things to say, I just have not wanted to write. Not in the mood. So here I am playing a little catch up.

Family reunion:
Long weekend up north with Mother-in-laws family. It was fun, lots of food and conversation and booze and... and... Iris met a cousin who is just two months older and they seemed to get along pretty well. There were other new cousins there, but they were all older, I'm sure they'll talk more once... she can talk and they all get together again.

Work:
I hired another shelver, she starts tomorrow. We will miss the one that is leaving.

Home:
Chris got a job. He starts Monday. I think it sounds really interesting and varied, he seems nervous. I'm sure it's just all the time away and he'll fall right back in. My favorite neighbour Gerry/Jerry has cleared some land on the south side of my property where I hope to have a larger, more organized garden next year. I have no idea if it gets enough sun. I'll have to keep an eye on it. Anyway.. the yard is huge and now we have to "do stuff" with it. The possibilities are great... Now, if only the time were as plentiful.

Iris:
Mostly walking. Well, a certain mix of crawling and walking. This morning she wok up and didn't cry till we couldn't take it anymore and went in to get here. She woke up and was playing in her crib till it was almost 8am and I figured I should get up. Mind you, she had been up at 5am to eat... so she should have slept in a little later, but she has been waking up at like 6am no matter when in the night she had last been up. This is not cool with us. We credit the happy wake up with the addition of toys to her crib. Specifically, a big fuzzy pink poodle, a book and a pink plastic turtle. She still takes two naps. She loves daycare and hanging out with her friends. She came home with a fresh bite mark on her back today. Not sure who bit her.

Ok... Not very eloquent, but it's the news. I'll try... but I'm not promising to write a little.. even if it is just the events. Boring, but something. Is that better than nothing?

*shrugs.

~off to bed I go.

Recovering.

2006-07-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

We just watched Crash. WOW. This is the best movie I have seen in a LONG time. Emotionally draining and thought provoking.
I think I'm in shock.

So, if you haven't already. You should see this film.

Giddy.

2006-07-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

I'm on my second glass of wine. I'm happy, happy and giddy. Full of possibility.

The neighbour is removing trees for the couple that bought the lot between us. I guess he tried to buy it, but he needed two weeks to get the money and they person selling was eager to sell. So anyway, he got the job to clear the lot from the people that bought it and he is also getting rid of all our scrub trees while he is at it. He is also getting rid of various crap that was way in the back near the river and the chicken coop. There is so much light now... It's beautiful. It's a huge mess right now with downed trees everywhere and MUD mud mud, but.. soon, it will be smooth mud, sloping into the river. The river that we can now see. SEE! Seriously.. is so awesome... Beautiful light, sunsets in summer. Normally we only see sunsets in winter and it is straight ahead on the river.. and all the leaves are gone, but now when the sun is more to the north west, there is sun set.

Iris. Beautiful, beautiful child. 21lbs 8oz and 28.5" tall. Smallish head, 20th percentile. Lovely head, beautifully perportionate to her perfect baby body. I've never put much stock in those percetages... Except to brag when she was especially large. She is developmentally ahead of the game with her solid standing and almost walking self. She got a Little People farm from Chris' parents for her birthday. It is very cool and much more fancy that the version from when I was small. All the animals have their spot, and make the animals noise when pressed. Iris likes this a lot. We got her a pink ball and some new clothes today. I really don't want to go crazy with toys the way it seems like some people do. I don't want the poor thing to get ADD. Too much going on and she freaks out. So, we brought out the familiar... Her colors book, her Fisher Price rings. Happy happy.

Chris got an email from a company that he got a kiss off letter from last weekend today. They want to do a phone interview with him for a customer service supervisor position they have open. WEEEEE! Come on fancy new fridge and stove. :D

This is rather long winded and I have been off the wine for hours and am ready for bed. I am happy and full of hope. I can see the river and the sun set. Things are starting to happen and I can't wait.

-Night.

Relief.

2006-07-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

Two days off. This is a relief.

Today is my Mom's birthday. She is 62... I think. She is a a big family reunion this weekend in Saskachewan along with a whole bunch of other Farrers. I think it would have been neat to go if our circumstances would have been different. I do have another family reunion to go to at the beginning of August with my mother-in-laws family. I think it will be quite fun. There are four babies all born within a year as well as many proud grandmas, grandpas and great aunts and uncles who will be arguing over whos grandbaby is cuter. Well, we all know who's right! :D hehe. Iris has it in the bag.

Chris is out mowing the lawn in 91 degree heat. He's going to die. I don't think the two bottle of water he took are going to cut it. He has a sun allergy and I'm afraid that he'll get sick. :|

Iris is ONE on Thursday. Can you believe it? Truely the fastest/slowest year of my life. It went by so quickly, but the individual moments were so slow. Today I saw her clap her hands together for the first time on her own. I watched her grin and slap those small pudgy hands together and I got all teary about her getting so big and Oh My God, Where Did the Time Go!

She stand on her own and bounces up and down bending her knees with out holding on to anything. We call this dancing, not too much different than how Chris and I dance for her. She knows that if she presses this button that Mom and Dad will stop what they are doing and do silly seated dances for the duration of the music. She calls momomomomomomomom when she is distressed. Her Daddy is the funniest person ever. He makes her laugh with his funny faces, he hangs her upside down and he changes practically all her dirty diapers. ( Except for today! I did one) She likes bananas cut up in her morning cereal. She eats most things easily so it is fun to feed her. She isn't very messy usually, which is good because neither Mom or Dad like when she smears food all over. She loves bath time, she grabs at the water flowing out of the faucet. She likes bubbles and cups them in her small hands and inspects them, well, before she tries to eat them. Chewing on her shoes is a favorite past time. When you to try and take away something she wants she shakes like she is the Hulk and will grow large and bust out of her little baby girl outfit. This hasn't happened yet, but I keep waiting.

I can look back from here and see everything that has happened this year and how things were in the years before we had her. I think of all the time I wasted when I could have gotten so much done with no baby to watch. There was no urgency then, no huge motivation about if you don't do it now who knows when you will have a spare moment again. ( This reminds me that I should be doing one of many, many things on my list instead of typing in my blog)
Days of doing nothing, or something, deciding in a moment and going. A very diferent type of planning. I miss those giddy irresponsible days, but not as much as I love my daughter.
I could go on and on about the wonder of it. I could also go on and on about how HARD it all is. It is so very, very hard. As a person who has alwasy been fond of rules as a way to make life easy to understand and books a way to kind out what you don't know, it is very hard to not KNOW what to do. There is not an answer for every question, no solution for every problem. Being a parent is nothing so simple. ( much to my chagrin) Being a parent is based almost solely on trial and error and after one success instead of knowing the answer for that problem for next time, next time the answer is ALWAYS DIFFERENT. Maddening. But I digress. ( heh)

I almost can't remember the early months when things were so awful that I constantly asked myself "what was I thinking" and thought "I can't do this, I'm not strong enough". Now, I can see why I did it and I know that I am strong enough. I'm also much more patient than I ever thought I could be at 5am. :D

I think this is the time when other people get misty for their little baby and in a moment of weakness try for another. I'd like to tell you all that I am not anywhere close to that yet. I think I'm doing pretty well at everything now, but I have serious doubts about how both Chris and I would handle all we went through again. Plus a toddler running around. I'm scared about how unhappy I would be. Right now I am happy focusing on my very sweet baby girl.

Did I mention she is almost one year old.

I am so proud.

:)

Home alone

2006-07-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

sort of.

Chris is at a state exam for some state/federal job he applied for and I am home alone with the baby. The baby who is sleeping. It's coming up on two hours, so I'll be up to wake her soon. She always sits up when we put her to bed now and subsequantly sleeps with her legs folded underneath her and her little pj clad diaper butt in the air. Precious.

We have been cutting down trees in the yard on days when I am off and we can take Iris to daycare. Yesterday was one of those days and since Chris had a job interview first thing I took Iris to daycare. she would crawl off away from me and then really stay close, pulling on my purse, which I held on my lap and pulling up and then leaning on my knees. She is a Momma's girl. She cried when I went to leave and of course I can't reisist peeking in the window one last time to see her, see her see me and crumple. ( stupid, stupid) I hate to leave her. It's going to get worse when she gets older I'm sure.

Shadow had a few scabs on his body which I assume means that he got in a cat fight one of the times he went outside. This is exactly why I hate letting him out when we aren't also going to be outside. Silly isn't it... he's a cat and I am so over protective of him. Part of this stems from the x-ray he got that showed that some asshole shot him with a BB when we were living at the old apartment.

Garden is doing alright. It gets a little more sun since we got rid of a very leafy mulberry tree growing nearby. a couple of my zucchini plants got smooshed by a falling tree, but the ones that get the most sun are doing well. Carrots, two kinds of basil, sage, dill cucumbers and tomatos ( roma and cherry). On their way. The five extra patio tomatoe that we just put in the ground last week are really happy in their new sunny home and the six geraniums I bought for a quarter each are blooming! Except for one that is almost going to bloom. I have to go around and take pictures. Maybe tomorrow.

Vacation.

2006-06-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

Today is the first full day of my vacation. Yesterday was meant to be vacation, but I decided to go to work anyway and catch up on some off-desk things so I wasn't too massively behind on Monday.

It is nice to not have to go into work. I like being abke to hang out with Chris and more importantly, hang out with Chris while Iris is at Daycare. (we are paying for it, why not use it) It's almost like not having kids, except there's this nagging feeling like I'm forgetting something. Plus, by four o'clock today I was dying to go pick her up.

Last night we had some crazy wind as a storm was grazing us. I was on the sofa watching the trees wave frantically and waiting for the rain to come or *something* to happen. Then something did. I hear some cracks and I thought that a dead limb was falling off of an elm and then there were more cracks and a large part of the weeping willow on the south side of the house fell over. So, we hopped up, grabbed Iris and stepped back in case the rest of the tree was going to fall in throught the loving room window. Thankfully it didn't. Though, when we were standing in the dining room anticipating tree collapsing, was saw that a HUGE tree by the railroad tracks had fallen over and was laying on the powerlines. I called the utility emergency line and while I was on the phone there were some big POP explosions and I exclaimed "oh shit" while talking to the dispatcher at the police station. They sent some fire men and a fire truck and after some assessing, they left. A while later the utility people came with their bucket truck and made relatively quick work of the tree and we had power back at 9pm. It was sort of a rude awakening to have the power return. We had a lot of candles lit and a great dinner of grilled marinated chicken and a salad. We were talking.. and listening to the weather radio that has batteries. We heckled a right wing radio program we happened upon and were sharing stories when the bright light of the map and the sound of a computer booking up and the TV turned on. Modern times were back.

Here is the big tree with the firemen looking at it. The didn't do anything. I guess since I told the police dispatcher that somethign exploded that they had to make sure it wasn't going to get worse till the utility people could come.

We had a nice lunch with my inlaws over the Father's Day weekend and then a nice party at friends of ours for their baby daughters baptism. We missed the baptism its self because we were stuck in traffic, but had fun at the party. On Father's Day proper the weather was awful and we took Iris to hang out in the basement during a tornado warning. This was the second time in her short life that we have had to do this. Not Cool.

I have been so busy with work lately and so braindead when I get home that I really barely turn on my computer to check my email. I am so happy to have a little time now with my sweetie and my daughter. * ahh. I think we are going to watch 'memoirs of a geisha' tonight. Oh, and eat many pudding pops. MMMMM, pudding pops. My brain is really still too tired to write anything good.. this is just what I've been up to.

*Still alive. Happy. Busy.

Hump day.

2006-06-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Here we are, mid week and over the hump.. so to speak.

I am going in for two hours of off desk time this morning and then back at five for a regular shift. This am I am doing a little training with my new circ person and meeting with the director about the hiring of a new shelver since I am losing one in July. I have gotten all my off desk hours in this week and now just have regular desk time till I begin "the new schedule" on Monday. Should be cool. I will have so much time to get everything done and do some enrichment to become better at my job.

Iris is back to normal this week more or less. Mostly just waking once at around 4-5am and then up for good around 5:30-6:30am. I don't know where she gets this early morning chipper attitude. Certainly not from her Father or I.

I have lupins, foxgloves and sweet wiliam blooming. Wildflower seeds planted, daisies with buds, butterfly bush growing like crazy, oh.. and the garden is very happy as well! I have carrots, cucumbers, onions, three kinds of basil, dill, zuchini sprouted two tomato plants flowering and a couple other things planted that I don't think have germinated yet. I'm so excited to be able to harvest stuff later in the summer! I missed having a garden!

I signed up for WIC this week to get a break on formula for Iris and some things we buy anyway at the grocery store like milk , cheese, beans etc. I have mixed feeling about signing up for somethign like this, but it's only temporary and I know we will still have to borrow money to pay the mortgage and a couple bills at the end of the month. Not much longer now.. I'm sure things will get better soon.

Iris and our friend Mariah's son Owen. Looks a little like flirting... It's started! *eeek.

Whoa...

2006-05-31T20:35:00.000-07:00

Was it really that long since my last post? I swear.. I am in a freaking time warp.

It's the first day of June tomorrow... Crazy crazy. See the post below I just put online, but I jus tnow uploaded it because I meant to write more. Funny how that never happened.

Iris has been so sick.. Today she has this weird rash on her face and I went to daycare to drop of a check for this week and I wfound out that a child there had hand/foort/mouth disease and hrrrmmm.. I wonder if Iris has it too... If that is what is the matter with her lately... She is so not her usual cute self. Very cranky.. and wakes up too early at night. Too early is defined by before mom and Dad have been asleep for three hours. I think three hours is the minimum sleep length for me to not be really unhappy about being woken up.

We have already been up to her room tonight to feed and drug her. (tylenol and gass drops, shaken, not stirred.) Last night we didn't have to do this before we went to bed, but she was up from 1:30 till 3am crying till Chris gave her a watery formula bottle.( I had already nursed her) Even then she was still up at 5:30 and did not go back to sleep.

It really doesn't get any easier. You get used to it one way and at that precise moment she reinvents the game and makes something new and hard for us to deal with.

She sure is cute though.

You give me fever.

2006-05-29T12:34:00.000-07:00

Ok.. maybe not. You give it to Iris. Iris, who has had a fever for the past two days. This is the first time she has been sick.. really then I guess.. I felt really awful when she had horrible colds and couldn't breathe.. but this fever thing is freaky. Her head and chest, and her little feet are so HOT. I feer her growing brain is going to boil in its own fluid. * ugh. We have take two cool baths together today. It was the first time she has worn her cute litle baby bikini that Grandma bought her in Canada.

It really is a horrible helpless sort of feeling. Of course, I read too many things and begin to worry more, pushing aside my calm reaction and plans of just more tylenol or motrin. That stuff really does help though. She has come down from 102.9 to 99. That's certainly progress. Or, maybe it was the bath.

It's really been a rough week baby wise... Iris got her two top front teeth this week, so she had been getting tylenol for that early in the week anyway. She is a practiced crawler and also has a slight clod.. runny nose or something for the past week as well. Yesterday things were agrivated I'm sure with almost five hours in the car and the heat.

I'm training the new circ clerk this week, so That will keep me busy.

Working hard for the money.

2006-05-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

So... I am back at work, this time not working everyday. (not right this second) Oh wait.. I am working everyday. Heh. BUT! I am not working any 8 hour days this week. Next week, while I do work an 8 hour day, I will have a three day weekend.

Last week Chris got his unemployment check and it was around $150 less than it usually is. He thought.. Maybe cause it was the end of the month the pay period was short. It didn't sound that plausible to me.. And then when he went to file on Monday he found out the real reason. There's no more unemployment money for him. Zip. NAda. So, we are so totally poor. Well, not yet... But once the tax refund and the anniversary money are all gone, my paychecks combined will pay the mortgage and leave &380 left for bills. This is not enough. WEEEEEEEEEE! But anyway.. I am in high spirits.

Chris has a job interview next Tuesday. Maybe it will be something great. They asked for a salary range.. And he gave them one that reflects the low range of what he was making before and the high range, 20,000 more. They called, which means something in this range is possible. It really takes very little hope to keep me going. Even the absence of something very bad and a new day full of promise is also a huge help.

Why does Iris like to wake up at 5:30-6:30 and cry. I think I could even handle the early time if she started cooing in her crib. The crying grates on my mostly-not-awake nerves. She also does not fall back asleep when brought into our bed, which used to always work. She is still getting up at least once in the night. Luckily this hasn't been before 2:30am so I haven't been all that upset. I'm being tested! I really don't think I want any more children. I really don't think I could take the sleep disruptions again.. Plus Iris the toddler. Ask me again in a year or too... Even Chris agrees right now.. But he says maybe he'll think differently once Iris is older. I know that "someday" I won't remember all this.. And I'll wish I had my little baby back. I already have the pangs now because I stopped pumping in the morning and my milk supply has gone way down. Iris should get some bottles of formula to supplement. I tried to last night and it made me feel bad. A weird ache. The time is slipping away, she is already so big. She is crawling toward the mirror we put on the floor so she could see herself. She can really move... Turn away and she has disappeared... Where is she? UNDER THE SOFA! heh.

Where was I. Iris... Is the coolest. A superstar everywhere she goes. I am learning patience. Or.. I am learning that I am impatient, but now I realize I do it and can step back and chant she's only a baby. I say this so often, (I'm boring you, I'm sure) It is the hardest thing I have ever done and wow... The most amazing. This little person... is so cool. I'm learning a lot. Like that I have to make sure Chris is awake if I leave the bed so Iris doesn't crawl off of the bed and fall on the floor. Ooops. She's fine though, me leaving my clothes all over the floor has really paid off.

Here is Iris having some fun in the grass. It was her first time eating grass and tasting oak leaves. She didn't like the leaves, but kept trying them anyway.

This summer is going to be so fun!

Sunday...

2006-04-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

Iris loves the cats. She shrieks when she touches them, usually the touch is grabbing fistfuls of kitty hair. I am a bit surprised at how patient they are with her. Lady mostly avoid her, but she does that to us too if we come at her suddenly. Bob is so old I think he really has no idea what might happen and he just sits there while she makes these gleeful noises and pulls on his ears or handfuls of hair from his body. He will sit next to her and rub his face against her hand, the old man is attention starved. He can take the child's rough love. Shadow is a cross between the two, he occasionally rubs up against her, marking her as if she were a grown ups leg or a piece of furniture. She will grab his tail and he will simply move out of her reach and meow at her as if asking her to please not to that.. He's trying to sleep. She likes to grab at their paws, Bob has no front claws so it's a non-issue, but Shadow has very long, sharp claws and he never swats at her. He is a gentle guy, she is his baby too.

I've been having some work drama. Right now it seems pretty good though, so I'm not going to jinx it be rehashing it either in my head or in here. I will not listen to second hand information, I will not over think -- This is my new mantra. I have a six day week coming up, all on desk. I say.. Bring it on! I'll be tired, but Hopefully I'll be able to get some things done in the down times... If there are down times.

Iris can crawl backwards. She is working on going forwards. She has two teeth and may be working on the top front ones. She is learning how to manipulate her body to make it do the things she wants it to do. It's really neat to watch. She is still not sleep as well at night as we would like. Or napping during the day for that matter. It's not consistent and this is what is the hardest for us. She's amazing. Wondrous really. Children are such a mystical thing... Everyday is something new. I'm still in awe, even through all the trying moments. I still don' t want anymore... But this one we have is great.

Iris in the cardboard box that I got in the mail.

Iris on the move.

so....

2006-04-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

I've been really busy at work. We did interviews and hired someone who resigned a week into training. That's ok.. I'd rather not have someone keep at something they know they would hate, especially after we spend a lot of time training them. So... we called our second chioice and are awaiting her reply.. should be today. Best case scenario: She says yes.. I would love to come work with you even though I was your second choice... and will start on Monday. Worst case scenario is that she says no and we have to advertise, do more interviews and train again. Tis owuld be at least another month and a half of my poor over worked circ team doing way more than they bargained for. Go team go! Anyway.. here's hoping for door number one.

On the bright side I bought my first Coach bag! It's a dark purple suede satchel handbag with black leather trim. I thought it was going to be bigger... like big enough for files.. My minds version of the dimentions were really skewed from the actual size. The measurements were true.. I just was being a retard.

Chris has an appointment on Thursday with a dermetologist to have them look at the growth on his lip. He hopes that they will just cut it off there.. as do I. If not, hopefully they can get him in before May 19th, which is when he has an appointment with a plastic surgeon to get it removed and biopsied. Fingers crossed.

On the garden front my daffodils are out, tulips are budding, but not open yet and crocus' are done. I guess I needed some fertilizer or something because a lot of my daffs didn't bloom at all and so far the tulip flowers seem really anemic. The Iris' I planted last fall for the new baby at all coming up I think, and the daffodils I planted in like November are coming up too, they are just quite a bit behind the second year ones. So the blooming season is extenaded.. yay.

I finally bought running shoes, so now I have to call the gym I get a free membership to through work and make an appointment to have an orientation. NO excuses people, the scale creeps up. It's all that babies fault! I swear.. I never eat dinner before 7:30 at night, I have a sweet tooth that I NEVER had before I was pregnant. The "big" clothes I bought to bridge the gap when I was losing the baby weight are starting to fit.. instead of being baggy. Bad, bad news.

Well, this has been an awfully boring entry anout what's goin on over here. Hopefully once I get up to speed in "real life" I can get more flowery in my details.

-S

I am still alive. I think.

2006-04-06T17:47:00.000-07:00

We are back home. Our trip was great, albiet fast and jam-packed. The return trip blew. Bad weather in Chicago made us leave late and then get diverted to a small airport in Rochestor, MN. We spent at least an hour on the runway in the stuffy plane and then flew to Chicago. Once in Chicago we collected our luggage and the wheels on on eof the large suitcases had broken off. This made it extremely hard to carry everything since we had a baby along for the trip and had packed accordingly. The next enourmously fun thing to do, at 1:30 am was to get a cab to pick us up. There were many, many other people that had to do the exact same thing. Chris eventually go through on the cell phone that almost had a dead battery, luckily it held out till they called us back to tell us the number of the cab that was coming to get us. We spent the night at Chris' parents in Evanston and went home in the morning. A little bit of packing and a shower later I went to work.

I have worked a lot this week and done interviews to fill a place at work. I can't wait till I start working my new schedule and can actually get everything done.

My crocus' are blooming, daffodils are budding and tulips are poking out of the ground. I love spring. Except for the weather that made my return trip so not fun. Incedently, Iris was a great traveller. She also seemed to improve the day of everyone we came across along the way. She is beautiful, she has a tooth, she can crawl backwards.

Spring tease.

2006-03-22T06:13:00.000-08:00

Since my last post we have had weather in the 60's, a sever snowstorm alert that fizzled and C.O.L.D wind and wispy snow since it was too-freaking-cold to really snow. All through this my crocus' bloom and my daffodils and tulips are poking through the inadvertant leaf mulch that the trees left last fall.

Can I also say that dusk is my absolute favorite time to take pictures. The light is amazing. More so to the naked eye than the pictures. For example, the moss of my shed was seriously glowing, but I don't think I quite caught it.

We are leaving here on Thursday after I am done work and driving to Chicago. Friday morning we are flying to Seattle and driving up to Vancouver. One night in Vancouver, then on to my parents in the Okanagan for a week. A week filled with showing off the baby to family and maybe a little sightseeing. I haven't been home in four years. I'm sure it will be weird. I am a little apprehensive, but I'm sure it will be fine. I am a little tense about the trip its self, but excited about being home. I am really looking forward to seeing my friend Sharilyn who is still my best friend despite the ditance and how awful I am at keepig in touch. I also have plans to go to Edgewood, my favorite place in the whole wide world. If there is any question of it, going there will really help revive my soul. I hope to go see my college advisor, my old bosses from the mall store I worked at and go have a bellini at Milestones. ( looked for a picture of a bellini, but couldnt find one.. they are AWESOME)

On Friday we have to take a cab to the airport. We have to install the carseat in the cab and then drive there... Sounds like fun huh! This baby thing has so much stuff.

Well, must go pack. We'll be back on April 2nd. Not sure if I'll post while I'm there... The week I'm back I'll be really busy at work, I'll be interviewing people for my old job that week as well.

*fingers crossed that the trip with Iris is smooth.

On taking things for granted...

2006-03-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

Well, with all the schedule covering I am going untill we hire and train a new circ person I am working a few extra shifts a week. This in itself isn't a very big deal, but when you add in another variable factor it can drastically change things. The variable in this case is how much sleep I get.

On Wednesday we took Iris to the Dr. for a belated six month check up. She had been coughing for a little over a week and we were glad to be able to have that looked at too in the one appointment. The Dr. listened to Iris breath and said she was wheezing and diagnosed her with RSV. She said that she may have athsma if it doesn't clear up after the cough goes away. So to loosen up her chest they had her breath with this nebulizer and then listened to her chest again. I guess it loosened he rup quite a bit and we were sent home with a prescription for albuterol sulfate syrup. The dr. and then the pharmacist warned us that it might make her nervous or jittery and not sleep well. Well.. I went to work on Wednesday night and came home and Chris had gotten her to sleep fine and we settled in to watch some taped TV. At 11 she woke up and long story short we couldn't get her back down to sleep until 4am. Oh the screaming... and the call to the Dr on call who I'm sure thought I was a complete retard when I though she was having trouble breathing but couldn't actually articulate any symptoms. When they said jittery they should have said it may make your baby scream non-stop and cause you to only get 2.5 hours of sleep after the screaming stopped ( probably due to exhaustion).

So yeah.. 2.5 hours sleepand then a 8 hour work day half of which was spent at a presentation on library self check out units with my boss. My boss who was intoruducing me to people who I have no hope of remembering because I was running on fumes. Add to that the stomach pain and nausea I've had from the stress of awkward work situations with one staff member and you have a PAR-TAY... wouldn't you say.

I've always been a good sleeper, I think part of why I am such an even-tempered and calm person is because of all the sleep I get. Take away my sleep and chaos ensues. I can have a bad day and after a good nights sleep I have gained perspective and I'm ready to face anything. After an 8 hour day at work on 2.5 I was losing my mind.

Saving grace: I came home and Chris made BBQ chicken breasts in the crock pot with rice and lima beans. I was starving and that protien hit the spot. Iris slept from 7pm till 3:30am and then back down by 4am till I woke her up at 7am to eat. Balance is restored. Things are getting better between the person at work and I. I'm excited about the thngs I am learning for my new job. Everyone I talk to about the new job at work is really supportive and I can't wait till I start my new schedule.

Yay.

Now, if only we could get Iris to stop getting up at 11pm or 3:30am. I don't mind getting up once, but twice is pushing dangerously close to bringing back the chaos.

Ok, so she looks like Daddy too.

It's officially haircut week!

2006-02-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

Well, I know of three people (including myself) that got a haircut this week and I know there must be more.

So here's a before shot:

And after...

Here's a picture of Iris and I pre-haircut.

And... a closeup!

I think she's starting to look more like me. Althought I'll admit she is a nice mix of both of us. Chris's head, my features and Chris' eye color. He told me the other day that the girls at daycare say she is looking more and more like me and the narcissist in me is giddy at the thought.

I love this little person.

I'm better than I thought.

2006-02-19T16:56:00.000-08:00

Well, I left the interview feeling... Mostly just relieved that it was done and it was out of my hands now. I was jelly when I got home and sprawled on the sofa. Thinking, thank god it's over. Almost not caring whether I got the job or not. I also started in on the whole "I definitely didn't get it" statements, followed by, "I'm saying that so if I do get it I'll be ultra excited". I had pauses, I said ah, like and hmmm more than I ought to have.

On Sunday my boss called and said they were doing second interview and could I come down sometime on Monday. I picked my time, so at 1:00pm I went down to the library.

I had to do a written "test". This was a sample of a memo I would send to Pat about a certain situation at the Circ desk and how I handled it. Then I had to show how I would set up a simple database in Excel for some Circ statistics. Then after half an hour alone working on this I was asked some follow up questions. She said that she liked my enthusiasm and that I had really thought about this a lot. Then she said "When I offer you the job will you accept it?". I smiled and raised an eyebrow and repeated "when you offer me the job...". Hhehehehehehehe! I would say YES!

SO anyway, I am the new circulation supervisor at the P.L. Yay me! After some initial awkwardness with another staff member (whom I consider a friend) I think things will be really great. I "start" next Monday but because of the time needed to hire another circ assistant and the way we are covering Jean's shift already now I probably won't be starting a new schedule until after I come back from our trip to Canada.

Now for the TMI that is completely unrelated to this new job stuff. I commented to Chris that I am going to become anemic from the near-hemoraging I am going through this week. When I got home from work he had beef tenderloin marinating and he had al the stuff to make an awesome spinach dinner salad. Iron rich! I married a prince, a true prince. This is even nicer than when he made a sausage and pepperoni pizza and rearranged it so it was half pepperoni and half sausage and saved me the pepperoni half! We accidentaly left it out on the counter.. So I never actually ate any of it, but it is seriously the thought that counts.

WTF!???!!!

2006-02-16T06:20:00.000-08:00

February 16th: Thunder Snowstorm. Thunder... Snow... Thundersnow. Does not compute! Is it just me or do these words not go together... I thought they were a mutually exclusive thing. Not anymore! The midwest is special! *Special!

I have my interview at 11am today. I have to iron... I have to think about why they should pick me.. and sound semi-convincing. At least I'll look stylin'.

For Valentines Day Chris and I had a giant dinner salad topped with slices of the beef tenderloin we grilled.

****news flash****

A thud was heard. That didn't sound like a toy... OH Crap. ( run three feet to sofa) Find Iris on the floor, see baby scream. I am now a certifiable bad parent! I'm so surprised it took this long. She's fine though... a hug and a little bouncing and now we know she can not be left alone on the sofa... or anywhere else I guess.

So anyway... back to Valentines Day. Chris gave me this cool diamond circle necklace with a little heart attached to the inner side of it. I looked for a picture of it, but I couldn't find it at the stores site. I guess it was just in the flyer.

Well, off I go to get set for my interview! Wish me luck!

Come on big money!

2006-02-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

The federal part of my tax refund was deposited in our bank account today! Momma needs a new pair of shoes! Maybe a few shirts... We are taking Iris to daycare pretty quickly and we have plans to go to Madison and do some shopping at Yue Wah to stock up on our asian food. Every few months we go and get spice mixes and coconut milk.. noodles, tofu and the like. They only take cash there and it's in the "ghetto" part of Madison, but!it has every kind of ethnic food you could want and it's so cheap! We can make thai food at home as good as at any restaurant and that is a good thing. I think we are also going to try and go out for sushi. Every other friday we have a morning off from Iris while she is at daycare and I don't have to work. Today is that day. Usually we sleep a little later and then go out for breakfast after we drop her off but this morning I made us get up early! Well, at 7am.. which sure feels early when you've been up twice in the night feeding a baby.

Nikki's post that I read this am made me nostalgic for music. This happened the other day as well when she quoted lyrics from a song I really like that I recognised the lyris to. I had to go dig through my mp3s on cd and listen. A lot of the songs on these cd's are like that. The songs that mark a time, a place or a person in your life. I just realized that all the songs that have meaning to me are from the past. I am not adding any new songs to my life soundtrack! I have to start listening to the radio again. I think that's the only way to hear the new stuff and have it become a part of your memories.

Iris got her passport in the mail yesterday. Her little head is so round!I can't believe tis thing is good till 2011! She'll be so mad that her picture is from when she was 5 months old!

The unemployed thing is getting to Chris. He didn't get the job at Duluth Trading and I think that his confidence is slipping. We discussed how I think he has to step up his search... the way he does it. I wrote a basic follow up letter for him that I told him to personalize and said he should get it done while I was at work yesterday. he did and it's really good. I think it really helped him realize all that he has to offer, and how maybe he isn't conveying it to pospective employers. We talked about how it hurt him to have me basically say "suck it up and do it" but he agreed with the basic point of what I was saying. I felt good about starting the letter for him and how it helped him get over his block. I think that it will help his search to have more job specific cover letters and also a follow up letter a week or so after his initial application. It could be the thing that sets him apart from people that may be equal to him in experience. I think it's competitive out there and I know how great Chris is at what he does and we have to get employers to see that too.

Well, I should go get ready for our morning out.

*buhbye.

Memories: by popular request...

2006-02-04T06:49:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. OK... only one request! But I live to please! So, by popular demand (just one, here you go Christine!) my letter to Oprah. hehe. They have a 2000 charachter max including spaces, so it is practially in point form... Thanks to my editor, Toph. As he says, when I write it just flows and when he writes he agonizes over every word. He can finesse what I write so well, I abhor editing and he does it so much better than me.

"My amazing love story has had some amazing highs and some very rough
patches -- but through it all we are still so happy.

I was 23 and recently separated from my verbally abusive husband when I met Chris, who was 34, in a ‘Friends & Family’ webcam chat site. On April 14, 2001 (two weeks after we first spoke), he flew from Chicago, IL to Kelowna, BC (Canada). He spent 10 days in Kelowna and from then on we were hooked.

Over the next year we took turns flying out to see each other until we knew that it was silly to be apart.

I moved to Chicago in May of 2001. Then, in June of 2001, Chris got laid off from his job when the company he worked for downsized. Around the same time, the lease was up on his apartment and we decided to move to Wisconsin in September 2001 for a fresh start. Chris found a job at the beginning of November and did really well there becoming a supervisor in just under a year. I wasn’t able to work because I was a Canadian citizen and didn’t have any sort of permit to allow me to work. We struggled to cover all of our bills but we were together, so not having the “extras” really didn’t matter.

In February of 2003 Chris proposed to me and after some talk we decided that we would get married on the two year anniversary of our first in-person meeting -- April 14th. In February of 2004 we bought our little old house. After more than a year, tons of forms, and so much money, my immigration claim went through. I was finally able to work and got a job at our local public library. This past July, we added to our family with our daughter Iris. Things were going so well!

Then at the end of October, Chris went to work and was sent home for good. He was blindsided. He was fired with no notice at all. So here we are again with him on unemployment, but now there is a lot more at stake with the house and the baby.

Through so much that could make our relationship rocky, we are still so
good together, so happy and looking forward to our future."

It was so hard to write this with out all the feelings... I had it like a quarter done when I realized that I would have to get rid of nearly everythign that I had written. it's so much more than this. Nothing about how I han't help smiling when I think of him or say his name to someone I'm talking to. He's like home, where I'm always safe and I know everything will be ok even if it isn't right now. We are balance, always taking turns to be the one who freaks out while the other is the strong one. I appreciate everything about what he is and does for me. Little things like making dinner or cleaning the bath room, he never does it and makes me feel like I owe him.. like it's my turn next. He doesn't keep score and he doesn't blame, even when I have a moment of passive agressive bitch. I like to say that I have him as payback for how awful Steve was. He is everything that Steve wasn't and so much more, but I think if things hadn't been so bad before I wouldn't know how great things are now.

Here's a link to his old Livejournal right after he met me at webcamnow. You see how he was talking about me... and despite the "but" or "and" he took a chance and here we are now.

Yay.

This is us in April 2001. I think it was Easter Sunday and we drove to Edgewood because it is my favorite place in the world and I wanted to share it with him. I think we were both giddy. It was a gorgeous day and I'm glad we have this picture to remember it by.

I think it was last year... I got Chris a card for something... birthday, valatines day.. I forget. It said "I wish I had met you sooner, so I could love you longer" It was perfect then and now.

Ok then, that was my mushy post for the year. Hope it didn't make you want to vomit too badly. :D

-S

Not a lot.

2006-02-01T07:45:00.000-08:00

Well, aside from the fact that I HAVE ANOTHER COLD ( before I was even over the old one), not a lot is new. The baby also has another cold. It doesn't seem to be as bad as the one we had 2 weeks ago.

We are still waiting to hear back from Duluth Trading Co. about the job Chris interviewed for. We should know by the end of the week. So far, no call or kiss-off letter has been recieved. No news is good news. Here's the bad news, I know.. you didn't know there was bad news too, Surprise! Chris' car won't start. He called me at work yesterday morning and told me that he wasn't taking Iris to daycare because his car would not start. Good thing I did our taxes on Friday... We should have money to fix it by the 10th. Oh, and wow... kids are sure a nice tax deduction! Thanks Iris.

I think I am going to write a letter to Oprah about Chris and I's "love story". It is one of the show's they are working on and.. wouldn't it be cool! He, he. I am quite fond of her show, even though it usually makes me cry.

Iris is sitting up really well on her own now and she is also babbling all the time. It's so funny. We talk back to her as though we know what she is saying. She looks so serious about it most of the time, she must be saying very important things.

Well, I am off to draft my Oprah letter. I'l try not to be such a stranger...

Happy six months and one day baby girl!

2006-01-21T06:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, the twentieth, was Iris' six month birthday. Lucky for her since we don't have insurance right now, she didn't get three shots in the leg. She is teething, though there are no teeth poking through yet. She feels them though because she now makes this "monkey face" feeling her gums with her tongue and thus poking her bottom lip out. It's quite cute.

I can't believe how much fun she is becoming. When I pick her up she puts her arms around my neck. Sometimes when I'm holding her she grins and buries her face in my chest or my shoulder, as if things are just too funny and she can't take it anymore. She grabs at our faces, often holding onto my lip or my chin. I like the way her small palm feels pressed against my chin. This week she has added green beans to her new food tastes. They were a hit. This Sunday we will add a new vegetable, possibly carrots? We actually stocked up at the grocery store and bought a weeks worth of everything they had in first foods because they had a sale.

Chris has another job interview at Duluth on Monday. I'm so excited! They must really be interested to see him so many times. I turned in my application for Circ. Supervisor on Thursday. I don't think there are any other internal applicants, unless someone else turned one in late. They are still advertising it in the papers and in the inter-library email. I get an automatic interview because I am internal. So, that will be some time after the 3rd of Feb. There is even space open at daycare for extra hours, so everything is sort of falling into place. I really want this job. It's 30 hours a week and $15.99 an hour. Weeee. Plus it's the only management job at the library that doesn't require a masters degree.

The other day I saw a beautiful sunset out the door on the second floor. I came downstairs to snap a few shots. It was more beautiful through my eyes. It looks more like spring than the middle of January. Even the tempurature has been decidedly spring-like. Luckily, and some may disagree with me, it snowed last night. Thus restoring winter to the area. The state of the weather nowadays really does alarm me. The tornados are much more frequent than they were, and there really isn't that much snow. Snow, that incedently would be insulating my perennials and other less cold hardy plants against the cold that will invariably return this winter. Spring is on it's way... I know because the seed and plant catalogues have begun to arrive.

Here is a shot of last night's snow. Chris actually measured it on the table, 5 inches. It's very pretty while it lasts and because there was no wind, or rain it is all still coating all the tree limbs in my overgrown back yard. Winter wonderland again. Yay.

We have all been really sick all week. Seriously the worst cold I have had in many years. Iris had the saddest little baby cough. Breaks your heart to hear it. So we've had the humidifier on at night, as well as saline spray for her little nose, Vicks baby rub, her mattress propped at one end and judicious use of the bulb syringe ( aka snot sucker). Fortunately we are all on the mend. I was sickest first, so I think I feel the best so far, but Chris never whines about being sick as much as me... So I think he's feeling pretty good as well. I hope to get to the stairs this weekend... But I just don't know if it will happen... Maybe by Wednesday.

~Cya later.

The weeks happenings.

2006-01-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

Well, not a whole heck of a lot.

Iris has a cold which , thankfully, is nearly done. I got her cold, and now Chris has it too. Don't come to our house, it's dangerous.

On Wednesday I painted the first 5 stair risers. Hopefully this weekend sometime I'll do the other ones that go up from the landing. Plus I should do a secont coat on the first five as well. I like it, it really give the stairs some depth. It's much more architectural than it was before. We also have plans to paint the gross faux wood panel board that is trying to be wainscoting until we can take it down and put up real wainscoating sometime in the distant future.

Yes, that is a gnome.

Iris had her first vegetable this week when we started squash. She loved it. She seems to like food in general and stares at us expectantly whenever we are eating, especially food in bowls. I think we are going to try greenbeans this week.

We all went to Madison to apply for a passport for Iris since we are going to Canada in March and you need them to travel with a baby so they don't think you are kidnapping them. Her little head is so funny in the photo they took. Pictures are over twice as expensive at the passport office as they are at Walgreens, just FYI, but we wanted to make sure they were done correctly. Chris got his passport renewel forms and put them in the mail. Passports last so much longer here than they do in Canada. There is no such thing as passport renewal there, and they are only good for 5 years, instead of the ten they are in the US. *cha-ching.

That's it for now.

Look at this big girl!

2006-01-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

My daughter can sit up! Well, we have to place her in a sitting position and she has a tendancy to either make face plants or flop backwards. Part of the time she uses her arms and can hold herself up. It's pretty cool. She's a total wonder! (as Kevin would say)

Today we had plans to go grocery shopping which never ended up happening because during the first time after a feeding Chris and I were really hungry and the second time I was so tired I had to scoop the baby up and take her for a nap along with me in the big bed. So we didn't introduce a new food like we had previously planned.

We were asleep before Chris came back upstairs after scheduling a second interview at Duluth Trading Company. It was maybe ten minutes. She sleeps so well in our bed, if we were co-sleeping she would have been sleeping for 12 hours a night. I swear! We took a two hour nap like it was nothing. Nothing like a little baby breathing to lull one to sleep. Sort of like there's nothing like a baby's laugh to make you smile. I really don't think I have heard anythign more wonderful.

I have not painted any stairs yet. I have removed staples, sanded andwiped everythign down to get rid of all the dust. Although, with three cats, the dust bunnies seem to multiply rather quickly. Hopefully this weekend I'll be able to get the painting done.

I had more to write, but I can't remember right now. *figures
Here is Iris with a piece of pink yarn tied around her head. This was much to the chagrin of her father who is vehemently opposed to headbands of any sort when a head does not have any hair to hold back.

A new year.

2006-01-01T08:25:00.000-08:00

I've never been one for resolutions and this year is no different. I don't see why at one specific part of the year you decide to do things that you could have been doing all along.

Here I am on the morning of the first day of 2006. I'm dressed to finish up pulling staples out of the stair risers, followed by sanding and possibly today- painting. I'll post pictures when we are done. Chris noted that he now has several new painting shirts, refering to all the uscelluar logo'd apparel he's aquired over the years.

Last night Chris and I enjoyed the new years eve picnic basket that Fran and Dick gave us at Christmas. It really is the most fun way to eat... To graze. There were fancy mixed nuts, an italian salami, smoked salmon, crackers, fancy cheese spread and of course a great bottle of pink champagne. We watched a movie, ( mediocre) gave the baby a bath( in the middle of watching the movie) and then more snacking and the rest of the champagne. Somehow we ( mostly me, Chris stays up late most nights) managed to stay up till midnight. Chris resolved to be employed in 2006 ( heh). An odd resolution.

I got my truck back this week after it being away for a week. $568.00 later... The bright side I suppose is that I had like $2500 of work done on it because of the recalls.

My computer speakers are making a tapping noise. It is very annoying.

Iris started out 2006 right by rolling over from her tummy to her back for the first time.. that we had seen anyway.She also can sit up by herself for short periods of time. I imagine she'd be better at it if I were a better parent and did more tummy time, floor time etc. I'm still adjusting, or so I say, to this parenting thing. I should probably be doing more. She is a very good baby though, happy and growing! I really want to know how much she weighs.
Here I am feeding Iris her first rice cereal. She has now moved on to oatmeal, which she seems to prefer. Next week we will probably introduce some sort of fruit or vegetable. It is so cool to watch her eat. She "knows" how to do it. Like she was born to eat... oh wait... :D
Here is Iris inspecting her pacifier seconds after yanking it from her own mouth. Isn't she beautiful! * Sighs the proud parent.

This will be a very exciting year for Iris.. and her parents. We'll be seeing everything through new eyes. I hope everyone can look at things with fresh eyes also.

*cheers

[This post was made under duress following threats by evil friend and fellow blogger Madame DeBarge.]

lazy picture post...

2005-12-18T20:08:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of the new coat. The camera's batteries were dying so I know we can get a better shot, perhaps tomorrow.

Babies second day of cereal. She's a BIG girl... eating solids.

Mother and Daughter

Chillin' in the stroller.

Note to self.

2005-12-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

When your infant is sick: Do not type "infant fever arching back" into the search box on yahoo (or google if you prefer). It may cause you to have an irrational fear that your baby has meningitis.

After roughly two hours of trying to get Iris to bed all the while she was screaming and arching her back with her low grade fever, Chris got her to sleep. ( run-on sentence) For the last stage he sent me downstairs to eat dinner while he rocked her. I ate and cringed while listening to the baby monitor on low. Shortly after we went to bed with our stomachs still full, which always feels so gross. She was up again at 12:30am, 3:45am and sort of at 7:45am, but I brought her into our bed and she slept for another hour. I forget which time it was... either 12:30 or 3:45 . This is when she started out with the usual whiny "I'm awake and need your help to get back to sleep" cry. Chris went in to try giving her her pacifier and I guess picked her up after I told him I'd be right into feed her. She started in with the most awful crying/ screaming I have ever heard in my life. I can't even describe it. The sort of thing you'd expect if someone were sawing off her arms and legs all at once. I thought my baby was dying... Then Chris passed her to me and I fed her and she was ok. She relaxed and snuggled in and we were able to put her down without any problems. I believe she stayed asleep after she stopped eating.

I am so glad that night is over. She seems fine now, although she was fine last night till we went to put her down to bed. I guess I'll chalk it up to the fever and hope it never happens again.

Shazam!

2005-12-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

Where did that week go!!?

Probably something to do with all the days off I had in a row and all the things that we had scheduled during all those days. Oh.. there was also snow and now, even though I am getting ahead of myself, there is COLD.

Friday we took Iris to daycare, took Bob to the vet to get his thyroid levels rechecked ( they are still high and his medication dose was upped). Then back home to drop him off and then to Madison to pick up my coat and to pick up the Jetta and give them $1200. It still hurts to think of it. Oh, and the coat was 50% + 20% + 20% off. So, really it was pracically free! I got approved for a Boston store charge card which gave me the second 20% off. Establishing american credit is so exciting. Hehe. Also on Friday there was holiday decorating at the Library. I brough Chris and Iris along with me and then everyone that came had pizza in the meetign room. The decorations look nice, really go me in the mood for Saturday...

On Saturday Chris got the Christmas stuff out of the attic and I put up a couple garlands over windows in the living and dining rooms. We found a Christmas music radio station and listened ALL DAY. I don't know what's the matter with me, I don't usually have this much spirit. It must be Iris' doing... Darn baby.

Sunday I had the staff Chrismas party. I made an appy to bring and stayed about 2 hours. I brought the baby to that as well, she was passed around a lot. I worry that I am annoying because I brought the baby and am putting people out when they have to hold her. I know it's rediculous, people love to hold a baby for a while.

Zoom, zoom, zoom... and it's Wednesday already. The past two nights Iris has slept "normally", waking once in the night around 4am. We like once in the night, especially when it is after 3am and before 5:30am. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come and she will be sleeping longer and longer. Possibly ten hours or more at a time. Speakign of the baby, she is dresses totally like a boy today. Green, brown, blue and white sleeper and a blue bib. Our boy baby is as cute ans our girl baby.

We picked up Iris' pictures yesterday. So I have to get busy on my Christmas cards and also send a bunch of pictures off to Chris' parents. Oh, and I will try and get pictures of the new coat for Christine. I already saw hers...

Wow, what a boring entry... no finesse, just facts. I'll do better, I promise.

I'm ok, I'm ok.

2005-11-30T19:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we took Chris' car to VW to get his coolant sytem checked since he had been topping it up with water when it became low. We both drove up, since they were probably keeping it over night. I made him take Iris with him since I was really nervous about driving to Madison. Silly, I know but I'm just uncomfortable driving to places I haven't ever been before. So, we dropped it off and then we went to East Towne Mall to look at winter coats. I said, no black and tried on coats at 3 stores before ending up at the ne we started at and picking out a black coat. It fit really nicely so I was overcome. When we took it up to the counter to pay the lady asked if could wait a few days for it and proceeded to give me a friends and family coupon to use Friday and get an additional 25% off. So she put my name on it and hung it in the back for me. We left feeling happy about nice people in the world and I made a very heavy casserole for dinner with leftover thanksgiving turkey breast.

Fast forward to this morning. I misread myalarm clock and thought it was 9 when it was actualy 8am. Then the phone rings at 8:15. "maybe it's someone calling you for a job!" I say. "or VW" he says back to me. Right, VW.... and back to sleep we both go. When we got up for good and I checked the phone for a message I found that the guy at VW had indeed left us a message and the Jetta needs just over $1100 in repairs. GREAT! because there aren't other things I'd rather spend a thousand bucks on... like, the mortgage. Oh wait, that's not all. We have an appointment to take Bob back in to the vet to see how his thyroid medicine is working. So that's another $130.

My mother booked a flight for Chris, Iris and I to come visit at the end of March. That's something nice to look forward to. She said to buy the coat anyway, that she would pay for it. This was after I said I didn't know if I would now since we needed to spend all that money on the damn car. So I'm going to put it on my Visa and she'll pay the bill. Really, we are so lucky that our parents are so supportive of us. I'm sure that things will turn for the better soon. I'll be applying for the Circulation supervisor job when J retires, ( I think I just mentioned that the other day) and Chris will find a job. Keep on keeping on. Everynight is a crap shoot with Iris, every day is a new chance. Right. Now, to sooth my soul.

~Night

The Great Beyond

2005-11-30T14:43:00.000-08:00

I've watched the stars fall silent from your eyes
All the sights that I have seen
I can't believe that I believed I wished
That you could see
There's a new planet in the solar system
There is nothing up my sleeve

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

In all this talk of time
Talk is fine
But I don't want to stay around
Why can't we pantomime, just close our eyes
And sleep sweet dreams
Me and you with wings on our feet

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

I'm breaking through
I'm bending spoons
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond

I want the hummingbirds, the dancing bears
Sweetest dreams of you
I Look into the stars
I Look into the moon

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground

I'm breaking through
I'm bending spoons
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond

by REM

...OVER AND OVER.

I forgot pictures!

2005-11-27T09:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I didn't forget exactly. I just had to go to work. Pesky work, gets in the way of so many things.

Here is Iris and Grandma Fran on Thanksgiving. You can tell those two are related!

Iris the budding super-stars pictures in the front window of the local photographer.

Iris wearing daddy on her back. Wow, that girl is strong!

And... Lastly. It's our angel. She really is precious isn't she!

Work went alright after a rough start. B. told me that twice she had convinced some patron to not fill out a complaint form on me. I was totally shocked. Sweet innocent me... Anyway, long story short I got kind of upset, not really about that, but about somethign else she said afterward about another patron we had an issue with earlier in the month. But I talked to her about it before she left and she convinced me that we were good and she said... I'll do you one better.. and proceeded to tell me that she wanted me to be the new boss! The current supervisor is retiring in the new year and I have decided it would be prudent of me to apply for her job. So, that was a HUGE ego boost and after a rough patch made the rest of my day go really well. I was cheery! Working that FISH Philosophy! hehe.

Anyway, the end of the work day was topped off by W. bringing in this great sweater that she knit for Iris. It's varigated pink, turquoise and yellow with transparent pink buttons. Really pretty. Iris getting gifts is really as good as me getting anything for myself. Good thing too, since we won't be doing much for Christmas this year.

Well, I should go balance my checkbook! Wish me luck.

~S

Friday/Tuesday

2005-11-26T08:47:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. It's Saturday... But! I am talking about yesterday, which was actually Friday but I had to constantly remind myself that it wasn't Tuesday.

Congratulations are in order. I finally planted the daffodil bulbs that I couldn't help myself from buying months ago because they were like 75% off at Walmart. I knew that I shouldn't have walked past to see if they were on sale, and then I knew that I would have no time to plant them because of the new center of the universe, Miss Iris Bukrey. but... I DID IT! It was after teh first snowfall, and freezing cold outside, but those babies are in the ground! ( by babies.. I mean bulbs. No babies were harmed in the making of this blog entry)

I work at noon today. Which means I should probably feed the baby before I go, but she's sleeping... we'll see if she wakes up in the next 15 minutes I may do it.

Yesterday a library patron that I haven't seen since before I had the baby said it was nice to have me back. It made my day. The little things... you know. Plus Wendy ( a new shelver at work) said she had something for Iris. I know she knits a lot so maybe it's a knit.. something. I'm quite anxious to find out.

We went to the inlaws for thanksgiving. The usual 2.5 hour trip took four hours. Mainlt because one 20 mile stretch of road was totally stop and go and took two hours! Thank got I has some milk in the car to put in a bottle for Iris or she could have been majorly cranky. Luckily on the way home the traffic was fine and she was an angel... sleeping the whole way home. I think she knw that momma and daddy's nerves couldn't have standed a crying jag at the end of the day. I'm getting ahead of myself though. We went up Wednesday, had a great dinner when we arrived of Lasagna and salad and bread. Oh.. and PIE. My mother-in-law makes the BEST pie ever. So even though I had eaten way too much in the first place I still had pie. On Thursday we had a repeat of too much food with all the regular turkey day favorites.

Iris got a cute pink breast cancer bear from her great grandma in Fl. ( by-way of grandma and grandpa who had just been down to visit. I guess they had a fundraiser or something there and they gave them out to all the survivors.

I have to get going.. but I had to mention... Thanks to Aunt Joan who apparently ready my blog and gave me the best compliment and made my day. She said that she liked my writing style and compared it to an author I quite admire. I always liked the way I write and this is the first time anyone has ever said anything. So, I'll be walking on that cloud all day. *beams.

~till next time.

The 28th anniversary of my birth.

2005-11-16T17:28:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh. Here we are again. Another year older. Most definetly an adult, certainly late twenties. Really the age doesn't bother me. Although I wouldn't mind hitting pause, and possibly having Iris go to sleep easily. It doesn't seem to be happening though.

So, on my birthday it snowed, was well below freezing and seriously had the coldest windchill I've felt since.. well, last winter. I had to work on my regular day off at this inservice and I had to go to an unpaid work helth fair and get a flu shot. On a more positive note, there was a really nice card for me propped up against the coffee maker when I got up and when I gone home between the inservice and the health fair there was a gift ( flannel pj's, yay!)and a card from Iris. Who knew she could write. That baby is totally holding out on me.

We made bbq boneless country pork ribs with rice and lima beans for dinner. Since I really like this food, it was a perfect birthday dinner. I think the first one I've eaten at home in a LOOOOONG time. Chris made me orange dreamsicle cake for dessert and bought me 3 lottery tickets So if i don't post for a while.. cross your fingers that I won enough to quit my job and go on vacation with a full time nanny. ( yeah right) Maybe just a night nanny.

Well, I'm tired, have a headache, my arm kind of hurts and the baby is fighting us on going to sleep. I'm going to go to bed in my fuzzy new pj's and hopefully get some cuddles from my husband. Except for the work and the flu shot, it was a very nice day. A day with surprizes, and that my friends is a good day indeed.

I used to have a sleeping baby.

2005-11-08T20:25:00.000-08:00

I don't know what is up with her lately. Daylight savings time, the new nightlight, four month growth spurt? Shadow also continues to meow in the hall, in her room in an attempt to get he to play... or something. I don't think he goes in her crib.. but when she wakes up for no reason I wonder. I don't know but she wakes up more, eats more and cranks more than she has since she was like 2 months old. The latest is that she wakes up about a hour after we put her down and screams, somehow Chris gets her back to sleep. I get her even more riled up.. I think because I smell like dinner. In fact, Chris told me to "go" tonight when I peeked in on him working his baby magic.

I just bought a Bumbo for Iris on Ebay. I think she will LOVE it. if not, it seems to have a booming resale value, so I can get my money back.

Chris' birthday was nice. He was surprised at the deluxe Matt Good CD/DVD set I got for him, (pre job loss). We made a pot roast in the crock pot for him and it was really good.

I STILL have not planted my flower bulbs.

Iris played super model on Saturday when we took her for her first ever professional portraits. She was amazingly good. All full of smiles and she had two different outfits. Some in a pink outfit and some as an angel. Tomorrow we go to see the proofs. We get a free 8x10 and I am not sure how much other pictures are. We shall see, perhaps the grandparents will want to get some.

There are severe thunderstorm watches on tonight. Weird.

I have been up since 5:30 this morning.

*leaving you with Iris and her Daddy on Daddy's birthday.

Wednesday...

2005-11-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

Another week. Well then, what happened?

I worked Friday morning. Afterward I went a bought Chinese food at Grand China for us to have for lunch. Mostly I bought it for the fortune cookies.

When Chris was laid off from Apac in Chicago right after I moved to the States we gave up the lease on his apartment, stayed at his parents condo for a month ( they weren't there) and then moved to Stoughton in September. Once in a while, because it was inexpensive we would get Chinese. Some of the fortunes that we got during that time, and even while Chris was at USCellular before he was a coach were really great. The kind of things that make you hopeful when things are kind of rough. For our first wedding anniversary I mounted them on Asian rice paper and put them in a floating frame ( the kind you can see through, so the fortunes were just floating in the center). A symbol you know, of how we can go through anything together.

So, now with things back in a rough patch again, I reach for something that has worked in the past. It was the best Chinese food I've had in a long time, and the fortunes... Well, they were ok.

His: Your uniqueness is more than an outward experience.
Mine: Your original ideas will get you well deserved recognition.

Today we are going to pick up his things from work. A final visit, and end. Later, hopefully a beautiful beginning. I still so bothered though and much more for the betrayal than the actual termination. After all this time... and all he's done for them. Everything for me is so personal, and this just wrenches my guts at how cold it was. I'm an emotional sort of person and in my world, a world with many rules and guidelines based on what is right and what is wrong, there should be reasons! Clear cut reasons and a chance to make things better. No coming in to work and getting sent home. For good.

In with the box of stuff there should be a letter explaining why he was let go. I am both curious and terrified at what it might say. From a company that can so quickly switch from being supportive to cold and senseless, I suppose you never know.

I hope this wasn't too dark a post. Aside from my occasional fretting I really am upbeat. There really isn't a worst case scenario. Even the worst things end up with us all together, even if it is in an apartment and I really don't think it will come to that. Near the end of the month I think that he'll have to be a bit less discerning about what he applies for, but it will all work out in the end.

*cheers.

If I don't post again before then, think of Chris on Sunday. He will be 39 years YOUNG. hehe. He's going to Kill me.

~S

"If anything should happen to me...

2005-10-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

sue Nestle." That's what Chris said to me at around 4:30am when we were up feeding the baby. I guess he grabbed a bottle of water in the dark and took the cap off and drank.. and it was empty way sooner than it should have been. I laughed, Oh.. the machine probably didn't stay still long enough to fill it.. I'm sure it's fine. Then, it went out of my head. We went back to sleep and Chris got up for work after hitting the snooze button the usual three times. I slept longer, getting up briefly to get the baby from her crib and bring her into bed with me to get an extra hour of sleep. I ended up getting up for good around 9:30 and feed the baby.

We were about done when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I had a moment of panic where wondered whether it was Chris or some sociopath coming to kill us. Then I decided that a sociopath would try and be quieter on the stairs so I would be caught unaware. Lucky, or unlucky for me it was Chris. Home, on a Wednesday at just after 10am. Odd. He was coming home early today anyway because I had to work for someone and I needed him to watch the baby. That wasn't supposed to be until 2:30 or so though. So... What's up? I ask...

"I got canned."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"No?"

And so it went... My husband, employee extrordinaire was fired from his job just shy of his three year anniversary with the company. Happy fucking anniversary Mr. Bukrey! Thank you for your service. No warning, no reason.

I'm trying to be positive. It's an opportunity and all that, because really it can be. Right!? I busied myself hunting for employment lawyers on the internet and job links for local companies and sending them to Chris. It's all I can do. It sort of staves off the helpless feeling I have. Although, when I phoned the clinic to see if I could get Iris in to the doctor early and I said I had to because we only had insurance till Monday the words caught in my throat.

This morning at 4:30 while I was feeding the baby Chris handed me a fresh bottle of water and then he laid down on the floor to nap till I needed him to change the baby. That's when I remembered. The water. Something has happened to him! Damn you Nestle! It must all be their fault.

ch-ch-changes

2005-10-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

It's my baby! She's growing and changing so quickly. Plus, with a full tummy she is all smiles for Mama. Now, ifonly the camera took pictures when I wanted instead of 2 seconds later.

Everyday magic.

2005-10-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

The coolest thing just happened.I went outside to call Shadow to try and get him to come in because I am a neurotic pet owner and I don't like to leave him out all day. Lucky for me he comes whe he's called... like a dog. A well behaved dog even. Usually I go out once to call and then go it and try again a little while later and he's nearby and ready to come in. Iris was asleep and so I went outside to do phase one. I walked out to the edge of the lawn and took a couple steps down a mowed path into the wild backpart that starts after the lawn. I was pausing trying to find the two fir trees that we planted on either side of this path when I heard a flutter. I looked to my right and was this motion, I thought it was a butterfly. It turned out to be a rather small goldfinch stuck to what I have decided to be "the most evil burr plant ever" If the thing can ensnare a bird, it has serious power.

I pull my sleeves over my hand and go about trying to remove thes burrs from the bird so it can fly away. Which it does a few seconds later. I have not come through this experience unscathed. I spent the next 20 minutes picking burrs out of my shirt. These suckers are highly evolved, it was nearly impossible to get them out.

Other than that... It was my Friday off and I took Iris to daycare and got my hair cut and went to St. Vincent de Paul to see if I could find anything. Boy did I! I got two cardigans, a pair of work pants and a pair of Landsend slip on casual shoes. Plus a bunch of baby stuff for Iris. I spent $30 and got some nice things :D

I just put the rattle on Iris' lap and she picked it up all by herself. As oppesed to me wraping her fingers around it. She is getting really handsy lately. It is so cool to see her evolving. My baby is growing up. *Sniff.

I'll leave you with this picture of me with my hair cut. Can you even tell I got it cut? hehe. Also, Iris and I and one of my sleepy baby in her ducky outfit.

Some like it hot.

2005-10-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

While I write this entry I keep pausing to eat this really spicy nasi goreng that I made for lunch. Nasi goreng is indonesian fried rice, in case you haven't had it before. It leaves me with this irresistable tingle on my lips and tongue.. It just makes me want to eat it more. The same thing happens when Chris and I go out for Thai food. After a few gasps of air we NEED MORE NOW!. Iris may not like me much later, but... YUM! Not to mention the fact that I think we are having falafel for dinner and I'm going to make Uber garliccy tzatsiki to go with it.

Iris is snoring beside me in her bouncy seat right now. I love working part time, a 4 hour shift just flies by and that I get to pick her up from daycare and spend the rest of the afternoon giving her cuddles and watching her smile. I don't know why she gets so cranky for Chris in the evenings. At least.. on Monday evening while I am at work. I don't recall her being really awful when we are both home on the other nights. Perhaps it's that parenting amnesia.. the kind that makes you even consider having more when only a month ago you were saying NEVER AGAIN. Heh.

It's turning out to be a very nice fall. I have ot wear a coat in the mornings, but when I go outside after work it is not cold at all anymore. Leaves are starting to turn, mostly just yellow, but the virginia creeper is the first thing around me to turn this bright red color. This is in my back yard on the river.

I see a nap with my daughter in my future. Her steady sleepy breathing is better than a sleeping pill I swear.

I can count six asian beetles on the walls and ceiling in my line of sight from my computer chair. This is one thing about fall and spring that I hate. The bugs are AWFUL. Plus, these beetles bite. Sorry I don't have much else to say.. but a new post is a new post.

I'll leave everyone with a thought. At our wedding party, all the women put on wedding dresses. Really, doesn't that sound like a party to you?

The Fall

2005-10-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

I think that fall, aka autumn, is my favorite season. It is still sunny, and I can wear pants and sweaters, but don't need a coat. Also.. if I had any spare time I could do yard work without sweating buckets.

We had a nice short visit with Chris' parent this weekend. They brought up a casserole, flowers for me and a bag of baby clothes from The Junior League shop by them. Then they left the next morning. Chris, Iris ad I went to Taco Johns for lunch and then to the store for a much needed grocery shop. Later that afternoon we all went on a walk down the old road on Schmidt's property. It was around 4 and sunny and really just a beautiful day. We brought the camera!

Iris gets excited at all the colors and movement
and just everything new about "the outside". All the excitement tends to make her spit up... a lot.
She's lucky I have turned into a "mother" and miraculously stuff like that doesn't in turn make me sick as well. My tolerance is getting better, even feeding the cats wet food while Chris is away didn't make me dry heave. Granted.. I still tie a tea towel around my face/ nose like an old time bandit... but whatever gets it done right.

Happy three months Iris. I think I will keep you around.

My first born.

2005-10-07T16:05:00.000-07:00

Isn't he precious!

Virus.

2005-10-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

We all have a cold. It is on its way out though. YAY. Just in time for Grandma & Grandpa to come visit. Yesterday Chris loaded us up with vitamin C lozenges and various throat drops. The baby gets nothing! It really seems unfair that the smallest of us must endure the most. They don't make mini Halls cough drops for babies. Also.. since I breastfeed, I can't take any decongestant type medicines since they dry up bodily secretions... which breastmilk is. Ew... That makes it sound ultra disgusting. Really though.. the biggest benefit of breastfeeding, besides the baby snuggle time, is that it's FREE. I've never had to buy formula and I've looked at it on the shelf and OH MY GOD is that stuff expensive.

Hey.. went off on a bit of a tangent there... But.. I am a mother now and I will talk about my boobs, pee and poo way more than I ever have in my entire life.

The baby is napping. I have a snack prepped for work this afternoon and something to eat quickly before I head off to work. Iris is already changed for daycare ( multi pink striped sleeper) so after I feed her I just change her, put her in the car seat and GO! Hopefully I'll be able to find decent parking.

Friday is picture day at daycare. It's just like when I was at school... they take pictures and then you can take or leave as much as you want and then pay for that package. kind of cool.. she is nearly 3 months old.. so it's a good way to remember it.

Look! It's Iris and her Momma! Her Daddy says she looks more and more like her Momma... hehehehe.

Ok.. no more third person talk.

BYE!

Working Mom

2005-09-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well, it's true. I am back at work. It's really not all that terrible. It's more of a logistics thing. For example, how many times will Iris eat while at daycare and how rock hard my boobs will be and how much searing pain I'll be experiencing til we both get home and I get some relief while she eats. So far it isn't that bad. Monday Chris came home early because he wasn't feeling well, so I cancelled the sitter and he watched her the whole time. I wasn't really worried, this made it a lot easier to transition into Tuesday where I had to drive her somewhere and leave her there.

I was excited to see her when I was done work 4.5 hours later. However, while at work I did have to talk about her to a few of the regular patrons who noted that I was back and how was that baby. To which I gushed that she was great! and Huge and I couldn't wait till 12:30 so I could go pick her up and rub my lips against the top of her head. (Which is really growing back hair now, thank you very much)I didn't actually mentiont he whole lip rubbing thing, I suppose not everyone does that... and wants to nibble on those velvety soft apple cheeks. *sigh. It's official. I love this baby... Most of the time.

After arriving at daycare and seeing that she had a pretty bassinette in the main room with her name on it, the day care ladies told me how she had been so great! They hand me a sheet with what happened to her today. (ate 3oz at 11:00, one diaper change)I get one of these sheets everytime I pick her up. I will know everything that happens while she is at daycare! Every pee, poop and feed. Yay. Almost like being there, except I'm not. Really though, the worst part about it was that I drive to work now instead of walking and we aren't allowed to park in the library lot (during the day) so I had to park like 2 blocks away and I was like a minute late. No matter, I'll be faster next time.

Last night she was especially gassy and subsequently very cranky. She stopped crying only while eating. So she was really unhappy when I sat her up to burp her between slurps.

I bought a lot of 20 shirts on ebay on the weekend and that was at the back door when I got home yesterday as well. Twenty shirts for fifty dollars. Can you say BARGAIN! Wee, and although I haven't tried them on yet, there is a lot of nice stuff there. Iris may be subjectd to a fashion show this afternoon. I have been out of my "normal" clothes for so long I have to reassess what I have and see what fits and dream up new clothes combinations for work. I'm still lacking in a few areas.. I need more pants and a comfortable pair of dress casual shoes that don't look like something my Mom would wear.

I am going to try and have photos in every blog post now. So, here are some for today.

Iris on Monday holding up a rattle that I put in her hand. I really doubt she knew what she was doing... but she was shaking a rattle, on purpose or not! Amazing!

Also, for reasons of vanity. Here is a picture of me when I was 17 and had modeling photos done.
I never actually got prints done, my Mom wouldn't pay for them, but I had the contact sheet... and I was beautiful. Ah, to be 17 again.

The baby is good.

2005-09-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

She's so good. She's better than me at dealing with things... like needles full of diseases jammed in her thighs. Granted she did cry throughout the jabbing, but she quieted right down once in Daddy's arms. I hadn't really thought much about it and then later I started reading about other peoples babies reactions to these shots at such a young age. Then I began to read more and the fretting ensued. I do tend to over think any things that I really shouldn't be thinking about all that much. Like whether or not library patrons like me or the overwhelming anxiety of putting the baby in her carseat and driving anywhere. It's a race against the clock, and I had a hard enough time going anywhere before I had Iris and now it is much worse. The funny thing is that once in the car I get this giddy, dizzy feeling where I feel like I want to go on a long drive. ( providing I don't have to make left turns onto a busy street or go anywhere I have not already driven previously with someone else with me in the car.) (yeah.. issues... I know) It feels like I'm flying and I think.. I could go to this store and that store but then once I'm in these store I can't concentrate on looking at anything for me. I spend some time looking at baby items but there's this awful nagging feeling to hurry up and get home. Home... where there is no anxiety of running out of time. Instead, at home there is the monotony of taking care of an infant. Feed baby (1/2 hour-45 minutes) , change baby and play (15 minutes-1/2 hour) , set baby down or hold baby in attempt to get her to sleep (1 1/2 hours). Repeat. Every 2.5 hours I begin to feed the baby again. I like to do it, it's the only thing that never fails to calm her but it makes getting anything done really hard. She's so precious though. She was so great all yesterday. I tried to give her extra cuddles and love so she didn't think that the pain and fever she probably felt didn't make her think we were bad people. She always sleeps really well on my chest which consequently makes me want to sleep as well. Something about that little, warm body and the rhythm of her breathing. Precious. Those are the things I really want to remember. That and the way she raises her eyebrow just like her Momma.

So, 24 hours after the shots she still totally fine. I guess her immune system is doing well. Clearly too this breastmilk stuff does a body good since she was 11lbs 14oz at nine weeks old! That's two ounces away from TWELVE POUNDS! That's over 2 pounds in a month! Still in the 90th percentile for height and weight for babies her age. *beams.

She has just started really grabbing things. Mostly just at my skin or my shirt when I'm feeding her. She doesn't cry a whole lot and really is mostly a joy to be around. She mimics facial expressions and MAN! The huge smile on her face when she realizes we are mimicking her back is sure a reason to get out of bed in the morning. It sure makes me forget about the gut-wrenching nausea and anxiety of those first weeks at home with a baby for the first time.

I'm out of milk.

2005-09-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have been having cereal for breakfast since I found out I was pregnant. Up until that point I rarely bought milk at all. Now there's always milk and yogurt and calcium related stuff. Babies start using up the calcium in your bones if you don't get extra. Yesterday I finished teh last of the milk and totally forgot to tell Chris to buy more on his way home. Today I get out my bowl and then I remember... Obviusly my life is pretty easy if I'm this bummed about not getting cereal. Instead I had coffee with way too much vanilla creamer and leftover mexican rice and a burn hamburger patty.

Chris has been starting and ending work late on Thursdays this month. It is kind of nice having him here in the am a little longer but I hate that he isn't home till 7:30. The extra hour and a half is truely an eternity.

This morning he was gone before I started to pump after feeding her. I put her down in her crib and pray that she'll be entertained enough to not start crying while I sit helpless in the chair with no top on. ( heh) I sing to her, changing the lyrics to songs that pop into my head. For example "Don't cry for me Argentina" from Evita becomes "Don't cry for me Iris Bukrey" and the lyrical changes go down hill from there. I've made up songs since I was very small, my Mom wrote about it in this book she bought me called "To my Daughter, with love". It has all these blank spaces inside where you can write about all this different stuff about your life and their life in it. Reminds me that I wouldn't mind getting one for Iris. If I don't write about some of this stuff now I'll never remember!

Anyway... She started to cry and I put the tv on channel 23 which I don't get but has some great static white noise. Often it doen't work, but it sure did today! She's still passed out upstairs in her crib. Of course, having said that she will now wake up and commence crying again. I'm scared that I won't hear her crying over the static on the baby monitor. This is an irrational fear since her cry can definitely be heard over the static.

I wrote an email to the woman wo writes a blog I read a lot yesterday. She probably won't email me back. I feel like a big nerd about the whole thing, I'm sure I was gushing in the email about how much I liked her blog and how much we have in common.

Someone is stirring in their crib upstairs. So this is going to end abruptly...

One more thing quickly. Theonly kind of yogurt I eat are Whips! from Yoplait. They make some chocolate mousse ones now and they are SO GOOD! That's all I have to say!

baby's mad skillz

2005-09-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

Iris is growing so fast and subsequently learning lots of new things. Her lastest accomplishment is "Drooling" and with that came "blowing bubbles" with said drool. I'm so proud. We finally have a use for all those bibs now! She is also heavy enough now that when she moves the bouncy seat actually bounces. We also had to take out the small head positioner from her carseat because he head is getting so big.

I got back to work in 2.5 weeks. I'm sort of looking forward to it. The break from the baby and actually seeing people since I don't leave the house much at all now. Not even out to the yard. My gardens are in shambles. The weeds... oh the weeds. It's enough to make me cry. I won't be planting any new bulbs this year. I'll be lucky if I can rake out the ones that became overgrown this spring and summer. It was also very hard to garden 8 months pregnant, but I sure did try.

Iris has very long eyelashes and really large hands. I am proud to say that I have not drawn blood trimming her nails ever! I'm also relieved to share that she *is* growing back hair where the hair fell out. It is a slow process, but soon she'll look less like an old man and more like a little girl. I think her eyes will stay blue, they really seem to be getting lighter. I don't think herhair will be red, seems to be coming back blonde but it is only like a millimetre long right now.

I quit paying back my student loans in Canada. The have begun calling me. Twice anyway where the phone actually said the banks name and they left one message. I really want to call them and say I don't make enough money right now, possibly after I have been back at work for a month or so. The account is in Canada and in my maiden name. It will mess up my Canadian credit, but that doesn't mean anything here. So I don't feel as bad about it. Plus! Shouldn't education be free? It's not like the fine arts degree has really gotten me much.Except creative problem solving skills and a $25,000 CDN debt.

Oh well.

It's about that time again...The toothless monster is getting restless.

RIP Reblogger

2005-09-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

Long live Haloscan! It's such a pain losing ones comments. Not that I had a huge amount to start with.. But they were mine!

I'm sure people were dying to leave comments all week! Now you can!

magic quiz.

2005-08-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.

In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

*stolen from ali's livejournal
What do you know... I am an only child!

~later

Well, the baby was screaming on and off all day. Off when she was eating. Ok, I'm exagerating a little. She just really didn't take any naps at all today and cried. Except earlier in the day when I was making a bunch of frantic phone calls to find out who had pumped my septic tank before we bought the house. Why you may ask... ( well, not really... I know how interesting my septic tank must be to you all) well, back in May I got a letter from the county with this form I need to have the septic tank pumping people sign when they pump and inspect my system. This has to be done every three years. I suppose to make sure that people actually have theirs emptied periodically. Since it's only been 1.5 years since we had it done and I really don't have money to pay my mortgage next month I'd rather just pay the $26 dollars (filing fee) and have the people who did it last sign off on it than pay over a hundred dollars and do it again. Plyed much phone tag and eventually got the correct company the second time I spoke to the selling realtor. Small problem is that we had it done 19 months ago.. and it says a max of 18.. so we'll see if they are jerks and make us re do it..

Thrilling hey.

Today I fed Iris for between 1hr to 1.5 hours at a time with an average of 1.5-2 hours between start times. This means I had about an hour break between feedings. I'm guessing 6 week growth spurt. What fun. Here's hoping we get some sleep tonight. Or rather, I hope I get some sleep. Chris has to work and it would be cruel and unusual to make him stay up.. right?

if you are still reading... Don't you have anything better to do with your time? :D

hrrm...

2005-08-25T11:44:00.001-07:00

I thought I had posted again already. I guess I was mistaken.

So anyway...

LIfe proceeds merrily on. I can almost see myself age in the mirror ( if I actually had time to look at myself in the mirror) because everything is going by so quickly. August is nearly over. I have a 2 month appointment for Iris on September 21st and then I assume I will be back at work starting the following Monday. Three more weeks approximately. Wow.

Iris still rarely sleeps more than 3 hours at night. She continues to give people the finger. ( It's subtle, almost like it was accidental... but we all know she's flipping us off.)

The tornado hystaria is wearing down. Not the it is any less horrible, but it is on the news less. Replaced by some other hyped up thing.

I have nothing to wear. I need to take the maternity clothes out of my closet and put normal clothes back in it. Not that a lot of them will fit anymore anyway... I have 10lbs of pregnancy weight left to lose. I suppose that 10 left of 42 isn't so bad, but it doesn't make my clothes fit any better. I miss my shaping underwire bras. They have been replaced by sports style nursing bras that I always have to keep a breast pad in or risk leaking onto my shirt at an inopportune time. ( anytime) Really, when is it a good time for a wet spot on ones shirt...

I have things to pick up at the library. I don't feel like going anywhere. Last time I went I talked to a library patron who had a baby like the week before me. She is starting a mother baby group and I gave her my phone number. I think that will be a really good thing. I don't know anyone really. Plus Shawna is moving to Madison to live with her boyfriend, so she won't live in town anymore. I think it will be good to try and meet some people like me with kids. I don't know if there are any people that I'll gel with here... but one never knows.

Well, I should be feeding iris again in 30 minutes and I'd like to swith some laundry and put in another load. Angel baby is in her bouncy seat looking around. She just spit out her pacifier and I'm wondering how long it will be till she cries. I'm going to try to give it back and dash down stairs and back before she flips out.

Wish me luck.

Twister...

2005-08-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

So yeah.. the best laid plans for a nice dinner and an hour of trashy reality tv dashed.

We had be waiting for Thursdays episode of Big Brother since Tuesdays finished. We had planned ahead what to eat for dinner and everything was set... Except of course for the severe weather alerts. There was weather coverage straight from 5pm and they really didn't cover anything but the storm systems moving through south central Wisconsin. They have all this fancy new weather equiptment that can show you the "rotations" that cause tornados on channel 9. So when they said that people around our town should take cover I went to go tell Chris since he was outside getting ready to grill pork steaks for our dinner salad. He wasn't in the back and I saw him in the front yard looking at the sky and coming quickly around to the back and looking back up at the sky. I guess he saw the swirling clouds dropping... He said we should go down to the basement, and we did. We had brought a radio down to the basement and eventually founf a news station with coverage of the weather emergency. Shortly after we went back up stairs. The cable tv and internet were out so we got the old antenna out and struggled to geta station to come in clearly. By thn it was over and we saw on tv that the north west end of town like 15 houses were flattened and more than 50 were severly damaged. The fottage is pretty incredible... still so surreal. If I didn't have the baby I would totally go volunteer to help. Right now I can barely have a shower every couple of days...

In other news...

Iris had a one month check up and was up to 9lbs 6oz! She is getting so big! No days have been as bad as when I wrote my last post. She is also 22" which puts her in the 90th percentile for her age. She's a very tall girl. :D I really think she is not getting enough sleep during the day... and not enough at night for me...

EEEP! It's time for her to eat ~ again.

*sigh.

2005-08-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

After a 5 hour sleep, a 45 minute feeding, a two hour sleep, an hour feeding and a fitful hour and a half sleep; the baby has been up all day. Since just after 9am Iris has done nothing but eat, cry and produce mind bogglingly large poo after poo. Everything a baby should do but sleep.

I'm still in my pj's, pj's with a coffee stain and drops of detergent. It is 5:41pm. The baby is crying and I am having my first glass of wine in 10 months. I"ve had a couple sips and I feel better already. I wonder if she will sleep when this wine hits the milk. I wonder if she will sleep tonight.

I am trying to decide if this is the 3 week growth spurt or if she just really wants me to have no nipples left. I never thought I'd be talking about nipples in my blog. Or be topless around as many family members as I have been lately... but hey... a lot of things are different now. Chris went upstairs to change her diaper, she continues to cry.

What fun newborns are.

Wednesday's child is full of woe.

2005-08-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

I couldn't quite remember this poem about the day you were born... But I had my suspicions. Iris was born on a Wednesday. This website can figure out what day of the week you were born on so you can see if you are full of woe as well. Chris was born on a Sunday and I was born on a Wednesday... Of course. ( heh) Oddly apt.

Well, we survived our first night home alone in the house with Iris. Chris sent me to bed and he was up with her for an hour trying to get her to sleep.

Chris has the "yard cam" pointed at the stroller that we use as a bassinette in the living room. So while we are down here with her asleep you can watch her as well. Creepy huh. :D

I need a nap. I have a nagging guilty feeling that I don't do enough for the baby. Chris changes her and usually rocks/ comforts/ burps her and he is the swaddling champion. I feed her. I suppose I feed him aswell. :D I guess he would amke food for us if I was the one holding the baby most of the time. I also imagine that I'll do more of this kind of thing once she gets a bit bigger and more alert. I should enjoy the break I get, Chris will be back at work starting the 22nd of August. I'll be alone with her all day! Eeeek. I wonder if the days will go by as fast when it's just the two of us? I wonder if I'll be able to get her to stop crying when I'm the only one here. I wonder if I will remain calm.

We are 99% sure we are going up north to Chris' vacation house for a Bukrey family reunion this week. There will be nearly 20 Bukrey's there. Lots of extra hands to take the baby. Although, I can't imagine people volunteering to rock our baby if she's a crying mess. I also worry about her keeping people from sleeping, since Chris' parents think we should take their bedroom and they will go stay at a nearby hotel. I daresay it will make it easier for us.. not having to schlepp her and all her "stuff" back and forth. Plus, people will get to see us more since we won't have to wait untill the time is right( between feedings) to drive over carrying all the aforementioned stuff.

I think we are going to drive up in my truck. Although I think it will be more spatious, I wonder how it will do on the long drive. It had 213600 miles on it when I bought it the week before I had the baby, and my Mom made 4 trips to Ho Chunk to play black jack. So now it has 214500 miles on it. Good old Toyota's! We'll see how it does on a longer trip. I'm sure it will be fine, just cost more in gas than the car would.

Well, I think I am going to try for a nap before she wakes up again. I think I have to start using the nipple shield again on one side... I thought it was supposed to get easier... Blah.

Ooot and aboot~

2005-08-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

It is getting easier. I glance around to see if the baby hears - She would no doubt switch gears if she thought she had to take up the slack. After not very much sleep on Wednesday night, thursday night was much better. I think the part that makes the most different it that it was almost 7:30am when she started to make the "noises" again. Chris was soothing her last night so I went to bed at 10:30pm and I guess he came to bed at 11:30 and she slept till... Hrrm. I can't remember. See, this is another thing that comes with new parenthood. Sleep deprivation induced short-term memory loss. I think it must have been aroun 1:30 or 2:30am... and then I put her back down to sleep at 4am till 7:30. It was great. Four hour stretches of sleep are pure heaven. two hour sleep stretches sort of make us more tired. Again, it depends on the night because some nights we have had less and I've felt fine and others I feel a bit like a zombie all day. It's these days that I am a lot less optimistic about this whole parenting thing.

Today we took the baby to Chris' work to show her off. Our first outing really, we have taken her to the Dr. and the Library, but those are short trips. Today we were gone a couple hours and I nursed her in the "health" room at Chris' work without having any pillow or anything. My arms were tired but it was cool to be out and know that I can really meet her "needs" pretty easily. Not so sure about public yet... but I'm sure it will come eventually. After we left "work" we went to target and bought some things... Snacks mostly and a baby bjorn carrier so we can have hands-free baby carrying. Should be good.

We are hopeful that we will be able to go up north to the mini Bukrey family reunion next weekend. The hardest part I think will be getting someone to feed the cats. It's a four hour drive each way, but we can make up bottles.

I'll write more later... baby is crying for the milk bar to open and I'm the only one who can open it.. :P

I guess I spoke too soon...

2005-07-23T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

Well I don't have much time so I'll be brief. My Mom was suppoes to arrive around 11:30pm tuesday night. He plane was delayed and she thought she would be here around 1:30am. She arrived at 2:30am and I felt a little crampy. By 3:00am the cramps seems to get stronger and subside and I layed down and timed the time from start to start. After an hour they were averaged to about 5 minutes apart. I called triage at the hospital to ask a few questions. Since it was my first pregnancy they said it could still be a long time. I woke Chris up at 4:30 to time them for me. They were increasing in intensity and the spacing was correct for me to think about heading to the hospital. We ran around trying to get organized and packing stuff to take.

We arrived at the hospital right about 7am. They checked me and I was 2-3cm dialated and told me to walk te halls for an hour and they would check me again. We walked 40 minutes and I was really in to much pain to go on so the triage nurse checked me again. I was at 5cm. 20 minutes later I was at 8-9cm and it became clean that I would not be getting an epidural or any kind of pain medicine. They wheeled me down a floor to a birthing room and nearly right away I started to push. An hour later our daughter was born.

At 10:22am on Wednesday,July 20th 2005
Iris Evelyn Farrer Bukrey was born.
7 pounds 5oz.
19" long.

and did I mention... WITH no DRUGS! Chris was a life saver with helping me breath at the pointin my life when I was the most terrified. All the nurses said I was very lucky that my labour went so fast. I did not feel lucky at the time.

I'll write more when I have time... and I'm less of a zombie. This is such a Huge transition for me especially.

Look forward to talking again when I get adjusted.

-Sarah

Pregnant pause...

2005-07-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

I'm pausing... waiting for an indication to move on. And waiting. And waiting.

I've had a recent increase of this particular symptom that I'm not at all fond of. What is it??? Well, the uncanny ability to choke on whatever I'm drinking or my own saliva when I am laying down. I'm not sure why the brain is getting messages to open up the lungs while I drink a glass of water but wow is it ever annoying.

I read the threads at the birth board I have been going to for nearly 6 months and these crazed pregnant women are all gung ho on taking castor oil and different herbs trying to induce labour and have their babies early. While I would not have minded having this baby a little early, it's now so close that I guess I just wait and see. Over reacting about every little symptom blah blah blah. Not all of them are like this mind you, but a lot are really losing their minds.

I really don't like leaving the house for public places now. People stare, I feel awkward and huge. God help anyone that dare say something like that to me though. I can't say whether they would incur my wrath or my tears. I'm all over the place. My Mother arrives late tonight. I hope that goes smoothly. I hope she doesn't say anything to upset me as I am a tad on edge.

I also have some pregnancy ADD going on. For example, I have a DVD on pause while I write this. A while before that I paused it while I talked to Chris on the phone for a bit. I need to vacuum and do some last minute tidying before my Mom arrives.. But I can't really get myself to do it yet. So I keep floating back and forth from laying on the sofa trying to watch this movie. I'm not into the movie... I am coming to the conclusion that it really isn't that good. Any one else have an opinion of "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou"?

To top everything off, all I got in the mail today was a phone bill. Not even junk mail for me to shred. My mom has to return her rental car to Rockford tomorrow. I really don't want to drive on the highway alone... Well at all if I want to be completely honest. I am going to see if Chris will miss part of his work day to do it. I'm just to pregnant, hormonal and distracted to take my first venture out on to the interstate.

Blah. Off to do something, for a little while at least. Then, maybe more of that movie.

Ugh, I just choked on my saliva again as it tried to swallow. ( Insert scream here)

Negative is positive.

2005-07-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

Well, my 24 hour urine test came back fine. No hypertension, no pre-eclampsia. Again, I didn't figure I would.. but I did sort of did enjoy the tense waiting. I did not enjoy carrying a trough of pee down to the fridge 4 times in the middle of the night.

I think I might go weed a bit in my "wildflower" garden. ( where I shook out a bunch of packs of seeds.) I guess a stinging nettle went to seed last year or the year before and there are tonnes of them, and the dreaded burdock mixed in with the flower seeds. I'm also out of cereal, which may require a trip to the store. Plus.. I could stop by the thrift store and look at baby clothes. I'm a little paranoid that the baby will surprise us and not be a girl, especially since we went and bought pink gingham curtains and various girly stuff. It would be a bit of a pain, but I would be equally excited about a boy.

I don't think I have anythign else interesting to report. I have trouble getting to sleep, my hips hurt so I have to keep switching sides and... much to my chagrin. Chris tells me I snore. *gasp. I guess it's a new thing, he said I just started. I don't know if it's from the air conditioner or the fact that Ladybird cuddles with me every night now.

Well, I'm off to do somethign else for a while...

-later

Feet up, or else.

2005-07-07T15:15:00.000-07:00

I'm cut off. I wasn't allowed to go to work today, I'm supposed to rest until the baby comes. My blood pressure is up, not like scary high, but a bit higher than I am usually. So, I'm supposed to elevate my feet and relax and drink water etc. I have to do a 24 hr urine test which involves me saving all my pee for 24 hours in a jug in the fridge. You know, next to the yogurt... Followed by another dr's appointment on Monday. Probably it's nothing, but they are making sure I don't have gestational hypertension or pre-eclampsia. If I end up having pre-eclampsia then they'll induce me. Which I would not mind at all. Mostly I think that I have really bad swelling in my feet, ankles and legs and they will like the fact that I won't be on my feet for 4 or 5 hours at a time. I shouldn't be on the computer either. I should be on the sofa with a book.

I doubt I have either of the things they are testing for, but I will try and do what my mother-in-law says and enjoy the peace and quiet while I can. If only I didn't have to get up so often to pee...

The new car bad luck.

2005-07-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

When I bought my first car, shortly after leaving my husband and moving in with my Mom, I was very excited. The first day of it being mine I went out to drive to work and discovered that my brake light was dangling out of its case in the rear window and that the top part of the shifter thing ( that's a technical term right?) was off of its stick. The light popped back into its case, and the shifter handle popped back onto the shifter. No harm done, and I don't recall either happening again.

That was in May 2001. Fast forward 4 years. Divorced, sold car, moved to the US, remarried, buy house, get pregnant and finally buy second ever car. Saturday, filled with new car high, so anxious to get plates etc and relearn how to drive. ( It has been 3 years!) Chris assures me that no one will tow my car away for not having plates. He will go get them some time during his time at work and put them on when he gets home.

I set off a little early, it is the day after a long weekend and the book drop at work overfloweth. I pull over a block and a half from the Library deciding if I want to just go park in the lot. (We aren't supposed to, except after 5pm.) I decide that since I'm pregnant and my car doesn't have plates that I should park in the lot. I pull away and go in the lot. I pick a spot in the far corner further away from the library and I leave a spot between me and andother car just incase I forgot how to park straight. I am nearly all the way in to the space when I hear an awful sound like something falling out of place. I turn the car off and step out to see what was going on. I herd the hissing immediately and knew from a previous flat tire that something had punctured the tire. So, there was this 4 ft long piece of aluminum rod with a "T" at one end wrapped around the wheel well. I am upset, thinking about the previous new-car-bad-luck. I call Chris and ask him to stop by on his way to work to look at it. He arrives and gives me hugs as I burst into hormonal tears because I have a flat tire. He gave me the number for roadside assistance and then heads off to work. I called road side assistance and spent ages on hold then ages answering questions only to be told that because I did not have plates on the car that they would not be able to come help me. This was followed by another call to Chris in tears about how they wouldn't come fix the car. Blah blah blah. Chris went early to get the plates for the truck and brought them just in time for me to be done work. Called teh roadside place back and they came ( 45 minutes later) We found out he couldn't put the spare on because I'm missing some key to unlock the tire from the truck ( it's underneath) so we get towed to a tire place just a few blocks down on Main st. Thankfully the puncture was in the tread and could be repaired. This meant that we spent $12.50 instead of like $200 for a new one. Chris didn't go back to work. We went for some lunch, in our separate cars. The I went and pumped my own gas for the first time in years! ( I love pay at the pump).

My car makes odd noises when I make hard right or left turns. I'm not worried yet.

Sorry it was SO long and probably boring, but wow was it ever traumatic for me. I was so distracted at work and ugh.. it was just an awful start to the day.

Invasion of the JULY people.

2005-07-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

There are sure a lot of people I know with birthdays in July. Nikki on Sunday, Kev today and then the myriad of by marriage family, my own mother and my cousin Todd. Now, barring unacceptable tardiness on the baby's part, the new baby as well. We would really like it if the baby would come on the 15th. My mom's birthday is that day and she was born on her grandmothers birthday. (I'm sure I have mentioned that before.)

It's been raining all day. Thunder storms from very early and then on again off again humid tropical rain. I really hope it is finished for the day so we can watch fireworks later. I LOVE fireworks.

OK... so it is now the next day. I'll try and wrap this up.

They set off fire works down the road from us at Dunkirk Park. It's the only time of year people park on the street by my house. We go out in the canoe on the river to watch them. There are no obstructions, just fireworks exploding in the sky framed by the trees on either side and reflecting in the river. I have no idea why more people don't do this. Some of you may remember that I'm supposed to have a baby in just over 2 weeks, so getting in a canoe is a little challenging. We agreed that I would get in the canoe on shore and then Chris would push the canoe in. Well, the river is really low, and full over broken glass and other various trash from the last 100 years. Also, the bank is steep. Being pushed into the river ends up more like pushing the tip of the canoe into the river. No water actually came in the canoe, but I screamed and was trying to keep balance and pulled a muscle in my stomach trying to steady myself. After the fireworks, getting out was no better. he pulled the canoe half way out and it was so tippy and unstable I freaked out again and walked like a crab backwards over my canoe seat to get out. That wasn't easy and I am really not very flexible, but there was no freaking way I was going to let him try to pull me all the way out the way the canoe was tipping back and forth. I am terrified of that water. I hope it never comes in contact with my skin, who know's what might happen to me.

Stayed up too late, slept horribly. Just wait till the next post.

PS: I was balancing the checkbook yesterday and I could barely write anything in. My middle finger and ring finger are numb all the time. I assume it's from the baby cutting off circulation or something like that. It's awful and I want it to stop.

Vroooooooooooooom vroom!

2005-07-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

I'm I wasn't so darn tired I would totally be doing a happy dance. Instead I just have a permanent smile. We bought me a car today! Well, technically Chris' parents bought me a car since they financed it. BUT! I have a car now! I just can't drive it all weekend because I need plates. So, the new car is not really a car.. but I can't stop calling it that. It is a 1993 Toyota 4-Runner SR5 V6 3.0 l 4x4! I had no idea I would ever own a 4x4. Chris keeps making these comments about how scary I'll be to people in my off roading truck. ( ha. ha.)

We went out for dinner last night to the Mexican place. I had a virgin strawberry Margarita ( read slush) and garlic shrimp. Wow, I think it was the best thing I have ever eaten there. I didn't even care that I dripped maraschino cherry juice on my shirt. I have never spilled so much as I do now that I am pregnant.

Today, besides buying me a new (old) car, we dropped some books etc off at St. Vinnies and then went in to shop. We bought a bunch of baby clothes and I got a pucci print maternity top. I sort of question the wisdom of wearing a pucci print while being so pregnant... but Chris liked it.. so it made me feel better about it.

I am pretty sure I had a contraction last night. Just one though... it made me stop walking and sort of double over. But I suppose I won't know for sure till I start having a bunch of them together.

Must go snack now...

Bye

Sleep: how do I love thee, let me count the ways.

2005-06-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am lucky to say that no matter how bad a day I have, after a good nights sleep I am 100% better the next day. I also am usually able to get to sleep fairly well. ( usually). I had not had enough to eat or sleep that day.. and everything was wrong, the worst part is that I knew I was crazed but couldn't stop the alternating anger and crying. Poor Chris, what a time to quit smoking. hehhehehehehehehe. Really though, I don't think he has it to bad with me, and he takes it pretty well.

We did infact go to see Chris' parent in Evanston on Sunday. The 2.5 hours each way goes by pretty fast and I wasn't very uncomfortable at all. Although, I was pretty stiff on the drive home from teh heat and walking around. We walked around the Custer Street Fair. Tonnes of tents selling stuff, many with the overpowering incense and silver rings. Many with overpriced crafts. We didn't buy anything. My mother-inlaw got some earrings and some really inexpensive tablecloths, napkins and placemats. We looked but didn't see anything we really liked.. despite the great price. We did pass an actual store that was open during the fair. It was an amish furniture store and was going out of business so everythign was on sale. There was this bench out front that matched the high chair and rocker that friends of ours have as well and a highchair in a style I didn't like as well, so we went inside to have a look. They had the mission style highchair that I really liked and we bought it. Or rather, Chris' mom bought it for us. It's really nice. I'm sure Chris will post pics eventually... since I don't know how.. and I'm not overly interested in learning how. ( heh) It's an oak highchair in a mission style, very sturdy and complete with pinching hazards.. but that will just make the baby learn faster what "arms up" means when we start on solids.

The baby is currently head down but it isn't engaged yet. So.. no chance yet of haveing the baby really early.. but I really only want to have it about a week early.. on my mom's birthday.

We shall see.

I really should go eat something before I get all crazy again... :D

The baby has hiccups.

2005-06-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

It has been happening quite a bit lately, a few times a week. It's this really regular jumping... not like any of the other baby movements.

I feel all weird... Chris' parent have been traveling a lot this year and I can't even remember the last time we saw them. Even the time they had mentioned us getting together.. they have plans now. I am really starting to fee like they don't want to see us. You'd think that they would want to see their only living son a bit more often... I'm sure I'm being completely irrational. I think we see my mother... who lives 3000 miles away more than we see them.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Hopefully I'll actually get to see my doctor this time... Last time she was late getting to the clinic after surgery. So I saw the other dr at the office. She was nice.. but you get used to one person, their style etc.. and they know your history.

I wore new shoes to work today... I had a blister after the walk to town. I brought lunch because I had an hour long harassment training before my shift at work. I then had half an hour in between to eat lunch. However, I forgot to bring something extra for my break. I was starving. I ate some stuff.. but it didn't fill me up. So by the time Chris picked me up at 6 I had awful acid reflux and I was way too hungry to think about what I wanted to eat. So, of course I got whiney and cranky and didn't know what I wanted for dinner.. but I needed to eat right then. Chris made me cheese and crackers. He saved me. Tided me over till our especially healthy dinner of chicken taquitos.

Chris has suddenly become intent on getting a broadband phone and getting rid of the regular land line. I don't want to. He had a broadband phone before I moved here to talk to me.. it didn't work very well. Plus, the sound quality was awful. I'm really skeptical. He's looking up reviews. I would just rather have an actual land line... I don't know why I am so vehement about it... I assume hormones. It's not like it's really all that big a deal.

We have Saturday and Sunday off together this weekend. I had thought that we would be going to Evanston to see the in-laws.. but now I have no idea. I was sort of looking forward to a change of scenery. We never had our little get-away for our anniversary. *surprise, surprise. We aren't going to do anything for a really long time I'm sure. ( wow... and I ever grouchy) I feel like making faces at stuff. Just generally annoyed. Restless. Crabby. Feeling the need to swear.

I want a back rub. For more than 30 seconds.

Tense, grouchy, pregnant rants. Watch out.

In other news... I took the pack n play out of the box this morning to look at it. It's nice.

Blah.

I don't even feel like window shopping on ebay... We are going to have no money so soon. Tuning up the car and if the stupid surveyor ever comes ( he said a couple of weeks... it's been at least a month and a half.. if not 2. ) Watch him come when we can't afford to have the stupid lot surveyed. Figures.

I'm off before I really get even more annoyed. Ice cream didn't help tonight.

Sweaty and smeared with dirt or, I really should be putting my feet up.

2005-06-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am the picture of beauty right now. It's currently 82f with 56% humidity. Lovely!

I was on the computer drinking my coffee and I heard clanking outside and saw that there were surveyors outside again. Still not mine.. but the ones for the lot next door again. Anyway, I went outside to water my plants since it's been in the 80s for several days and of course, to spy. After I finished watering I decided that I really did need to plant the dianthus' that I bought at Walmart on Saturday befor they became hopelessly rootbound. This was at 11 o'clock. So I'm in the front which is the east side of the house in the blazing sun at mid day. ( duh) planting 2 six packs of flowers. It didn't actually take that long.. but I had to get on my knee's.. and get up and dig holes etc... This is where the dirt and sweat came about. Not to mention the full force with which my allergies kicked in. Runny nose, itchy eyes and the like.

I desperatly need to hop in the shower and wash my hair etc. I have not had a proper shower since Monday afternoon. I do take frequent cool showers so I don't just burst into sweaty dirt smeared flames or keep people from having to stay a good six feet away from me.
Still, I'm not all that quick to get in the shower... I'm browsing baby items on ebay and I really needed to write somethingin here... Where does the time go.

Yesterday I was really busy. My whole day was scheduled, this would usually cause me a bit of anxiety untill the day was over.. but one of the things scheduled was a pedicure.. So it wasn't all a loss. So.. it went somethign like this: Work 8:30-12:30 ( with a 1.5 hour training session in there) eat something, Pedicure at 1:15, walk to Shawna's and then go to the opera house to process any memberships that have come in since I was there on Friday, get ride home from the city clerk ( bless you Luann!), putz on computer for an hour, drive to Madison for 6:30pm breastfeeding class scarfing Mcdonalds in the car on the way. Arrive home at 9:30. It was just way too busy for my liking. Exactly the kind of day that goes by so fast you aren't actually sure that it happened.

Since the "hot weather" started last week, my feet have decided to swell. They are truely huge, elephantine proportions. Sausages with little toes attached. None of my shoes fit. I even bought shoes in a size larger and they still don't fit. I can get them on, but only by shuffling around for 5 minuted to redistribute all the water inside of my skin. then when removed they leave the most amazing line divisions of puffy and squished skin.

I suddenly realized that I am hungry.
Must. go. eat. now.

Two day weekend.

2005-05-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Sunday. The first of two whole days off with my beloved. It's almost 5pm and we really haven't done much at all. A little dabbling in the baby name books trying to get a name picked out. We'd like to go in with about 3 solid choices and pick once we see the baby. I also have to go through the boys names again incase the ultrasound people were way off. We shall see. I got an email today, Chris' cousin Brian and his wife had their second baby this am, a girl. So if ours is a girl like we think, we won't be the first. We kind of wanted to be the first.. heh, I don't know why.

We currently have a tornado warning. I don't think it will amount to anything. The cells are small and north of us.. I guess it's because of how fast the winds are going or something. I'm sure there's some sort of tornado predicting equasion that they use. Chris is mowing the lawn so I went out to tell him that he might get carried off like Dorothy.

We had lunch at McDonalds today. Chris had to take his burger back cause it wasn't cook, and I really think a juicy pink burger from McDonalds is pretty suspicious. Plus, I didn't want him to be sick for day two of our mini vacation together.

I'm pretty sure I had a contraction this am. Just one and it hurt... it work me up and I went for what mush have been my 3rd trip to the bathroom that night and thought.. gee, maybe the narcotics won't be enough! Maybe I will want the epidural and I won't ware about a catheter so I can pee. *Shudders. We'll see.

Part of our outing today was to Wal-Mart. We bought babywipes and a pack of newborn diapers. Our first diapers! and boy are those things expensive! I think this has 40 in it and it was just under $10. *mind boggles. They seem to be less money for the sizes 1-4. I guess newborn has a premium attached to it. Then they also sell somethat are "baby-shaped". Well, I don't know about you... but I think that might be a good idea to shape them like a baby... what are the ones that don't say that shaped like?

There is so much we still need to get for the baby. I have no idea if any family type people will be giving me a shower, or if we should go ahead and spend the tax refund of buying the stuff we'll need as soon as the baby gets here. Like a contoured changing pad for example... We have to install the chandelier lamp in the room, frame and hang up the Beatrix Potter prints we have and wash everything. I bought baby ALL today. It was way less money than Dreft... I have no idea how important things like that are... but the all was nearly half the price and I'm a bargain hunter. I have to iron the crib skirt, decide if I'm going to use the crib bumper or if it is a SIDS risk. Really, people have been using bumpers for a long time and more babies are fine than die... so I really don't see the harm.. plus it's pretty. Also, I think we plan to have the baby sleep in the bassinet of the back and play for the first little while. Who knows how that will work out.

On and on... Not to mention all the things I'd like to be doing in the yard. I'm glad I at least have flowers in the baskets on my porch railings and in the whiskey barrel out front.

Lost my train of thought... So I guess I'll stop.

They like me! They really like me!

2005-05-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I think so anyway.

I had a staff meeting at 7:30 this morning. When we have these early morning meetings Jane picks me up on here way, usually about 7:15am. When we arrived Jane asked if I had an agenda yet.. I didn't and went over to check in my email to print out one for each of us. I wondered aloud if there would be any treats down stairs. Jane dragged me over to childrens to show me some posters she had done for the summer reading program. Cathie was upstairs too, all smiles. We finished up up stairs and headed down to the meeting room. I peeked in teh break room to check for snacks ( i'm pregnant, snacks are my friend) and there wasn't anything. Not that it really bothered me because I had just finished a big bowl of cereal before I left home.

So i am walking to ward the meeting room and I see that nearly everyone is there, then I see a table filled with snacks and ( wow, a lot of snacks at this meeting) finally, a table filled with gift bags. Slowely it dawns on me... Wait a minute, I'm getting a baby shower after all. Those library ladies are sneaky! So the first half hour of the meeting was gifts and eating. I ( the baby) recieved a lot of stuff!~ I should be able to make it through the first day with 8 changes of clothes. It was really nice. I had daydreamed about them maybe giving me one, but I never expected this. I LOVE surprises. :D

Since the last post I had a dr's appointment and found out everything is just fine. I'm not even anemic like 90% of pregnant women at my dr's office are. Yay me! I've gained 21 lbs with 9 weeks to go and in general I feel really good. I am getting uncomfortable at night, and getting full more easily so I feel sort of like I'm about to explode sometimes. I guess the baby is crowding out my stomach.

I think I'm going to go take a mini nap and rest up for work this afternoon.

Plus, I need to write a thankyou card to the library ladies. Is one for the whole group enough?

~ciao

Long day.

2005-04-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

I get really hot at work. So I turn the "hurricane" fans on behind the Circ desk. Papers tend to blow around. Everyone else is cold. What's a girl to do....

I'm tired and achey. My back hurts, my ankles look like they are made of dough ( if you can even call them ankles now) My left ear hurts, my left jaw hurts. I could take a Tylenol, but I don't even know if that would help. It's just going to get worse. This is why I am going to go to bed now. Everything in my world gets better after a good nights sleep. Except now my good nights sleep is punctuated by a minimum of three trips to the bathroom after I fall asleep. Usually at least one more after I'm in bed but not yet asleep.

In other news, Breyers informed me that my popsicles have not been made smaller. I just got a bad box I guess. Lucky for them! The wrath of the grouchy pregnant woman is a fearsome thing indeed.

Some how Shadow spilled Chris' beer on the lap top. Hopefully it's not fatal.

I think this is my most boring post yet. How about you?

Hurry up and wait.

2005-04-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

I'm losing my mind. Hormones? Stress? Something.

Chris' work is changing his schedule. Instead of the current Tuesday-Saturday, He'll be working Monday-Friday. Upon first look this seemed like a great thing, Mon-Fri ~ the scedule of "normal" people. Plus he'll be home on the every other saturday to look after the baby. Then I realized that I work at 5pm on Monday nights and he's not home till 6. Panic set in. What the hell am I going to do with te baby ffrom 4:30-6 every Monday night. I suppose to most people this is no great problem, but it cause me to panic. Panic! I can't afford another 30$ for a 1/2 day of day care, especially when its only for 1.5 hours. It means I have to find some one, a baby sitter or something to watch the baby for 1.5 hours each Monday. It probably isn't really going to be a big deal. An ad in the paper, word of mouth. I really felt that everythign was spiraling out of control. I'm sure that seems really silly to anyone who might actually be reading this. So, I finished my day volunteering at the Opera House and walked home. I ate a popsicle ( real fruit bar) and looked through the mail.

I got a letter and a coupon for a free box of whatever Unilever icecream treat I would like. I sent them (breyers) an email last week ranting about how upset I was that they made my favorite popsicles smaller. They say they did not make them smaller, so I guess I have to buy another box and see if they are telling the truth and I just got a bad box. They were more than 1/3 smaller than normal. My pregnant self was livid. Since I've been pregnant these popsicles have been a great comfort to me. ( Isn't this silly, I truely have lost my mind) I also got a catalog for The Company Store KIDS, They have really nice stuff in there, way more than I would ever pay for something, but nice stuff all the same.

Anyway, back to me losing my mind.

I went up stairs to my computer, put in a cd and picked through the old mp3 collection, playing the songs that make me stop and think. Nostalgia and thinking. Dangerous when you are hormonal and feel like the world as you know it is spiraling out of control. So, basically I sat at my computer for over an hour till Chris came home and cried my eyes out. Think think think, getting stuck in your head is such an odd thing. There are the things I know and the things I don't and they sort of war with each other spinning out of control.

I know that everything will be ok. Will it? will it really?
I know that I can handle it. Can I really?
I know it will be hard. Harder than you think sweetheart, really hard.
I know I'm happy and excited. Terrified, ill-equipped...

I start having to go to the Dr. every 2 weeks after my next appointment ( May 2). Thirteen more weeks to go, less than 3 months. Everything is coming on so fast. ( I can't wait!/I can...) I'm 27 years old, you'd think I'd be ready for all this.

Cha- cha-cha changes........

There's so many papers and crap on my desk I barely have room my my coffee cup. ( yes, I'm drinking coffee! It's 1/2 caff, and I NEED it.) It's making me angry.

My Mom doesn't like my current favorite baby name. I like it... and it is *my* baby right? but it still bugs me, because it taints it all a bit. Now I know why people keep names secret now-a-days.

Ah, nothing like a self indulgent blog post. It really is all about me after all.

April 14th!

2005-04-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

It's Chris and I's ~Second~ wedding anniversary! Proof that time really does fly when you are having fun.

We decided not to exchange gifts this year, but to go away for a night or two to a resort spa place and get pampered a bit. PRE-BABY. Like a mini honeymoon, but I can't go in the hot tub... not for long anyway. Chris is bringing home what I can only imagine to be more thai food than we could possibly eat in an evening! yay, this means thai food for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next couple days :D We opted for takeout because it's Thursday and we have a lot of really good TV to watch. So, a romantic night of Thai food and Survivor, could you imagine anything better :P

This morning when I first went to see if the mail was here I toured my garden areas in the yard only to discover that those FUCKING DEER ate my TULIPS. I'm so pissed. They will pay. Don't be fooled by their sweet doe eyes, they are plotting against gardeners everywhere. Those poor innocent tulips didn't even have a chance to make blossoms. They are them before that happened, and nearly down to the dirt. *AAAAARG. Really, I am slightly amused along with angry. What's a deer to do when I plant a salad bar in the woods.

I wore a skirt to work today. I was relieved to find that I still had legs, and thanks to this Jergens natural glow lotion, a bit of color :D

It is a really beautiful day. I walked to and from work and I'm just in a really good mood.
(except for the tulips.) So, you are all welcome for the nice day in honour of my anniversary, we had the weather brought in specially. ( unless you are Kevin in 30cm of snow, then I had nothing to do with that.) :P

*bye!

Forgive me Blogger...

2005-03-31T16:46:00.000-08:00

For I have sinned. It has been sixteen days since my last post. Does anyone really read this thing anyway? If you do and don't normally comment, Say hello!

My feet hurt. I wore socks that were too thick and too new for my new shoes. They made prints in my skin with the texture of my sock. I have very impressionable skin, always have. I keep pillow face for way too long, and wearing a waffle weave shirt to bed does amazing things to my torso.

Pregnancy is amplifying my pet peeves. Mainly people that tap their fingers, library cards books papers what have you as they wait. I can only check books out so fast asshole, so you should just relax. I think a LOT of people really need to relax. Do they really need that thing right now? Does anyone take a moment to stop and enjoy something. Little things, things that are free or close to it, things that do not need to be plugged in. I'm happy that when I walk to work in the wind that it is no longer mind numbingly cold. I pause and smile at the thought of the absolute mess it must be making out of my hair.

There is so much *good* going on in my life it boggles my mind. I have the idea that it can all be gone in a flash but, you know, I really don't think it will. I feel blessed. Maybe it's the music... I'm listening to a song off of The Tragically Hip's album Road Apples. Ahh highschool. These songs are still so good. Long time running... that AHHHHHHH feeling. The relaxing one, not the angry one.

My crocus' are nearly an inch tall. Life is good.

Chris' parents were here for an extended weekend. Saturday through Tuesday. At the end of it all this is what was accomplished.

My formerly rickety basement stairs were re-done. Solid!
The basement no longer bring on my own anxiety attacks. It's ORGANIZED!
Chris has this rather "grown up" work area with two work benches one of which is the new home of the kick-ass mitre saw he got for Christmas and has been sitting in its box since then, never opened.
My kitchen now has baseboards, not hollow area's where the drywall stops short 5 inches above the floor.
My Mother-in-Law and I went on a mini shop-a-thon. This produced a crib ( and mattress), a changing table/dresser and hutch and a swivel rocking chair.

Ahh progress.

Since then we have ordered this crib bedding set
and probably tomorrow we will order the stroller, infant car seat and pack and play.

We have to pick out our paint color and paint before the furniture stuff is delivered. ( We hope to anyway.) As well as pick the upholstery for the chair. I think right now I'll get the same velvety stuff that the display one had, but we shall see.

Ok. I more than made up for the 16 days didn't I!

Me Me ME...

2005-03-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

So, in retaliation to friend blogs posting more personal things.. here are some possible little known facts about ME. In no particular order.

I once had a ferret latched onto my cheek. It was "the friendly one"... Go figure.
I have 3 cats
I have 2 tattoos
I have never broken any bones, not gotten any stitches. Although, I once should have gotten stitches...
I LOVE popsicles. The real fruit kinds usually because I tell myself they are better for me.
I have traveled to 11 countries spread over 5 continents.
I have lived in 4 different countries.
I graduated highschool with honors. ( granted.. I took a lot of art classes.. but I it still sounds kind of fancy)
I sanded and polyurathaned all the floors in my new house.
My cousin and I were born on each others due dates.
I dated four guys named Chris. ( including the BEST one... that I married)
I've worn glasses since the third grade.
I once had green hair. Don't try and henna light brown hair black...( trust me)
The one time I got up the guts to audition for a main part in a play, it was cancelled.
My mom took Leslie Nielson to a party once. I think she picked him up at a bar.. ( go MOM!)
I haven't been back to Canada since May 21, 2002.
I love movies that make me cry. ( books too)
I have a half sister, 2 step sisters and one step brother.

I don't have a 19 damnit....plus I went and had dinner when I was trying to think of more...

Oh well... I'll just post this incomplete or it will be 2 weeks since the last entry.

another week, another wow! has it really been a week...

2005-03-06T20:08:00.000-08:00

Today was a rather glorious day. It was really warm, for winter anyway. Nearly 60 degrees, infact at one point today it was 72 in the sun on our outdoor thermometer. It couldn't have been that warm... Could it.

I hung a bunch of things today. A group of six framed vintage postcards in the stairway, a print of Quebec city in the bathroom ( to cover an unused electrical box) and this long horizontal antique mirror above our bed. ( rawr! .. just kidding) This one is pretty old and the mirror silver is starting to go on it, very cool.

We assembled a rubbermaid storage closet in the attic and put a bunch of coats and other seldom worn clothing inside of it. That thing is so worth the money! We even mostly finished putting away crap in the guestroom (soon to be baby room). But... not quite. It's still way better, of course, now the attic is getting a lot more crowded. There were swarms of flies on the two windows in the attic. It was SO disgusting, I think flies are really the most nasty bug ever. Chris didn't want to spray them with raid though, so they are still there now, swarming and copulating on my attic windows. *shudders

Mid day we went and exchanged the propane tank for a tank that actually had propane in it. Now we are ready for the grilling season. Chris is the grillmaster, I am the stir-fry guru. Then some Mcdonalds drive-through, a newspaper and home. We ate outside on the back patio that is still half covered in ice. I made a toast with my diet coke to "the new season" or something like that. It is unusual that I make toasts with drinks, I often just use food. For example, I'll hold up a fry or my hamburger and make a toast to whatever, then touch what i'm eating to whatever Chris is eating. I occasionally do it to my friend Shawna too. I am a strange bird.

We had Pa Naang with tilapia for dinner. It was really really good. (pa naang is a nutty red thai curry.) While we ate, we wasted 2 hours watching "King Arthur". It was... just ok. Even that might be a compliment.

This past Tuesdays doctors appointment went well. We heard the heartbeat as usual and scheduled an ultrasound. So now I have to wait till March 21st to possibly find out what the creature we will be having is. Chris says it is a girl, I have no feeling either way. What I do feel is it moving around now, fairly often too. It is truely pretty amazing and... Weird. That has been my word to describe a lot of feelings I have had since becoming pregnant.

On Saturday at work a patron asked me out for coffee. I was in complete shock... and amusment afterward. Who gets asked out at the Library? Especially when they are pregnant. Heh.. anyway, it was a VERY unusual occurance. I can't think of a time ever where someone I did not know already did that to me.

Chris is writing his blog behind me on his computer. He's wearing his glasses. He looks super hot in his glasses... I get the goofiest smile when ever I see him with them on. :D

<3 He's the one.

Monday, Monday.

2005-02-28T11:54:00.000-08:00

I wish it was Sunday still. I feel as though I wasted my weekend by being lazy. Plus I got pissy with Chris when I didn't decide on something to make for dinner Saturday night and I wanted him to decide after he had worked all day. Irrational, YES! But I felt like it was his duty to feed me. We ended up getting dipping strips Pizza. Which we ate while watching The Village.

I bought more stuff on ebay this weekend: 2 pairs of Carpri pants, some new running shoes and a cardigan. I freecycled my old coffeetable today to a nice lady named Kathy. If you don't know what freecycle is, go here to read more about it. It is really cool! Basically, it is a fee stuff message board. keeps things out of landfills and the like.

Yesterday we had such high hopes of getting things done. Instead, we went out for breakfast at 2pm at The Sunrise and then on to Wal-Mart. While at walmart we bought much needed rechargeable batteries for the digital camera, new socks for me, new cordless phones and a shiny new HUGE widescreen TV. Well, it's 27" but, we had a 19" one before, so this one really is BIG.

I had though that Chris would actually have his day off OFF, but no, he had to go in to work today. :( I had visions of window shopping for baby items, maybe tomorrow. So today I am doing laundry (surprise) and attempting to tidy the house which is still a disaster from "new furniture. There are still large cardboard boxes in the dining room, and crap all over the dining room table. I have made some headway, but not enough. I have to mail my phone back to the phone guy tomorrow and then wait for him to send one back, homefully it will actually work this time. ( what a novel concept)

I made a short list of boys and girls names that Chris and I like . Now we just have to see which one we put away after the ultrasound. Doctors appointment tomorrow at 1:40pm tomorrow. Maybe I will even get to do the U/s that afternoon! I can't wait. :D

I should be...

2005-02-21T11:47:00.000-08:00

I should be doing a lot of things.

But... Instead I am writing this... ( hilarity ensues)

Really though, I have a job interview wednesday at 5pm that I should be preparing for. It just doesn't seem that urgent yet. After all, I am off all day wednesday. Right!

Laundry.... but I still have some clean underwear.... *right!

I did move the old coffee table out of the living room, sort piles of magazines, vaccum living room rug, unload and load dishwasher and make oven fries which are almost ready for me to eat. There's something very conforting about baked potato slices soaked in vinegar and salt that makes not getting things done just fine.

There was absolutely no mail today. I'm more than a little traumatized. Two whole days without mail. :|

~later

to make my day...

2005-02-17T20:37:00.000-08:00

I have a mail obsession. Even junk mail. Well, maybe not credit card sign up letters... ( you aren't going to give us one anyway, you tease!)

Anyhoo, today I went out and got the mail and we got a magazine(Saveur), the local paper, a Dr's appointment letter and a letter from my friend and yours, the department of homeland security.

I tore into that letter so fast! Scanned quickly... Welcome to the United States of America. Then I could calm down. It was not a letter telling me when I was to be deported. Yay! The worst is over, I don't ever have to be without Chris. I'll get a shiny new ID card "Green card". I'll be allowed to leave the US and come back like a "normal" person. It's a huge relief.

Now... if I can only get really prepared for my job interview next Wednesday. I hate job interviews. I feel kind of weird about the whole thing. ie: why was the job posted externally if she knew I was going to apply. I read this as she doesn't want me or that job. but, who knows. I'm just negative about some things.. and I overthink.

Anyhoo... My new sofa and loveseat look great and I am in a pretty good mood. Well, except for the fact that it's already almost 11pm and I have to get up early for work.

Blah...

brief...

2005-02-14T07:34:00.000-08:00

Well, there's this

Which I stole from MadameD.
Not such a bad age, I don't know if I want Chris to try that quiz. Hrrrrm.

Happy Valentines Day.

Well, we had the immigration interview this week. I guess it went well, of course I continue to second guess myself and wonder. Then I think, there's no way they could kick me out.. I'm married.. Right.. I'm having a baby. Arrgh. It is just not a possibility, so I am just not going to think about it.. till I get something in the mail that says otherwise.

I got a message on Friday from my boss about scheduling an interview for the children's desk job I applied for before. Just when I thought I had nothing coming up to fret about! I should know better. Life is a series of things to fret about, and brief times of peace. The one bright spot in all this is that I already have a job at the library, and so it isn't a huge awful thing if I don't get this job. Wait and see once again.

Chris' parents are going to Mexico for a week starting march 1st. I have a dr's appointment March 1st. I wonder which of us is getting a raw deal. Not that I'm allowed to leave the country anyway while I have a case pending, but I can dream. I know it will probably be a long time before Chris and I get any kind of vacation together. Or a honeymoon. Opps, bit late for that now I guess.

*till later.

Nagging feeling.

2005-02-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

You know, that thing in the back of your mind and doesn't let you really relax until it's been taken care of. Right now for me its the funeral I have to go to today for Jim. I know I'm going to cry and I would really rather not do that around people I don't know well. Hell, the only people I really don't mind crying around are the cats, and to a lesser extent Chris. Also, we have the immigration interview on Thursday. This entails organizing everything we need to bring and the photocopies of them. Plus getting up really early to drive to Milwaukee. On top of that, conveying that we are *really* a couple. Well, duh... But, who knows how we will come off. We'll come with photos on disc and a couple albums.

I am a eBay-o-holic. Can't stop window shopping. I'm really not all that crazy about actually spending, but I look ALL THE TIME. Occasionally, I find a really amazing deal that I usually end up feeling guilty about because I feel bad that the person selling isn't getting more money. How dumb is that.

The yard looks gross. It has been in the 50's the past two days and the snow is really melting fast, leaving behind the ever so lovely brown grass and mud. Today the forecast is for rain, so it's not going to improve. Plus the fact that it will get colder again this winter and we will have to endure the melt and mud cycle at least once more this winter. *greaaaaaat.

Wednesday already...

2005-02-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

Ah another day off. Time for catch up.

I had a really lazy Saturday, I think I window shopped on eBay all day. Kind of a waste, but I think I needed a day like that.

I plan to make up for it today with a heroic amount of laundry, and I think I really can install my closet organizer by myself. My motivation for this is to hang up all my shiny new maternity clothes and get rid of the box in my room.

On Monday Chris and I went to my monthly prenatal Dr's appointment. I think I mentioned earlier that I was concerned that I didn't have a live baby anymore because I have still not gained any weight and I wasn't showing at all yet. All was made better at the appointment though, we heard the baby's heartbeat, strong and steady. Dr. Jenkin said that I could still eat ramen even though it has WAYYYYY too much salt in it, because since my blood pressure is fine the sodium has no bearing on my pregnancy. Chris mentioned about my super ramen, and this is what I do to doctor it up: One tea spoonful of Thai curry paste (I use pad prihk king paste, but red works too) and a generous spoonful of chunky peanut butter. I add that at the beginning, while I wait for the water to boil. Then ad noodles and seasoning packet as directed. I usually add peas at the end so they are barely cooked. There you have it... instant easy Thai noodle soup :D YUM! I eat the whole packet, so that's easily 1900mg of sodium.
Oh, btw... Why do I call ramen Ichiban ( which is a brand)? What does ichiban MEAN? Maybe it's a BC thing... Or am I just weird.
After my next Dr's appointment I will get another ultrasound, we shall see if baby co-operates with us finding out the sex. HOW EXCITING!

I went on a mini shopping spree this past weekend as well. I bought this
this
and this on Sunday.
( that was odd.... it kept underlining everything in blue unless I went to the next line. :/)
Then after the Dr. on Monday I went and bought a pair of maternity pants at Kohl's for $7.00, and 4 shirts and a pair of capri pants at Fashion bug for $19.78! Pretty incredible hey... I love a good sale ( heh, sometimes I really am turning, into my mother)

Today is groundhog day. in puxatawny, PA. the groundhog saw his shadow. Fortunately for me, the ground hog in Sun Prairie did not. So, early spring for us, but not them, na na na na na!

Ok!

We were a little alarmed when ladybird ( the cat) did not appear for breakfast. Chris found her in the basement guarding a mouse she had played with to death. This actually got me out of bed at 7:30 am on my day off. What a sight, to see the little cat tossing this mouse 4 feet in the air and chasing it. Once she brought it in the kitchen, Chris put it outside. *sigh... She's all grown up now.

~ciao.

home alone

2005-01-27T17:37:00.000-08:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

No really, it's not that bad. Plus, he didn't forget me, I had to work, and I don't think they usually allow spouses on these mini business trips.

I know I am so slack about updating this, but I simply don't usually have much to say.

So here are some updates:

Chris' cholesterol is HIGH. So he'll have to cut back on.. something, beer and smokes I'm guessing.
My ebay maternity clothes arrived Tuesday. Man, am I ever going to be some stylin' *hot* momma.
I am both shocked and amazed ( and a little embarrassed) that someone other than people I already know read the blog. Weird!
I have a Dr's appointment on Monday. I'm sure I'll post updates specific to that after the fact.

So... I don't know if I have mentioned that being pregnant kills more braincells than anything I may have done in school. Shawna keeps telling me that she already told me things that I have absolutely no recolection of. It frightens me a fair bit. Like being told about the dumb stuff you did at a party when you might have had a bit too much to drink. Except this time you haven't had anything to drink!

Ahhhhh.
I had a healthy choice frozen dinner for.. dinner. It was not very good. I should have just cooked something, but I get too hungry. That's when I usually end up making ramen noodles, which are oh-so-nutricious.

One of the many times I got up to pee last night I remembered a dream I must have just had. I wish I could remember what exactly happened. All I remember is that Kevin was in it and we had been doing something really weird and I was all stoked on being able to tell him about it today. No such luck. Ugh! I keep trying and still no glimmers of memory. Of course, why would I expect any different of this brain right now.

Whenever Chris goes on these trips for work, he always comes back with some new item of clothing with the work logo on it, as well and some sort of prize/or money. So far I believe the talley is: Portable dvd player, new windbreaker with corporate insignia. I haven't really spoken to him today, so who know's what riches he may have accumulated today. I shall be anxiously awaiting my hotel shampoo and lotion, my usual business trip gift. There was that one time he brought me a mini bottle of tabasco....

I'm feeling impatient. I don't really feel sick anymore, but i'm not showing at all yet either. ( not that it stopped me from wearing a maternity shirt to work today.) In a way im sort of freaked out that the baby died, and that's why I'm not really noticing anything. We'll see on monday I guess. As of tomorrow I am 16 weeks along.

Well, I'm gapping out about anything else to mention. I guess that's a good reason to stop.

*stops.

Overwhelmed

2005-01-19T15:35:00.000-08:00

There's just so much to do. Things are expected... Neither Chris nor myself are particularly prompt about things like correspondance and the like.

Chris' grandfather died on Fridayand we couldn't afford to send Chris down to see his grandma, now it's already thursday night. Two days after the funeral and Chris hasn't called, neither of us have sent a card. Well, I just sent an e sympathy card.. but it it too little too late? It's not like we weren't thinking about them... our own memorial.

*guilt*

I didn't do much today... Some knitting, and I hunted around for the things we need to bring to the immigration interview we have on Febrary 10th. We sure have to bring a lot of stuff to prove we are an actual couple. Luckily I found everything pretty easily. I just have to make copies of everything, because if there aren't copies.. they will take the origianls... I'm not sure if that goes for everything... But, you never know.

Well, I have hamburger thawing with plans to make meatloaf and some sort of potato and veg for dinner. Will get to that soon. Chris had a physical today at the Dr. Everything seems fine, we'll see once his blood test results come back to know what his cholesterol etc are.

~later

another day... then BAM

2005-01-18T15:10:00.000-08:00

I was well rested. Went to bed early enough, the alarm didn't startle me, I just got up. Except for waking up and wondering if Chris forgot to turn the heat down over night because I was so HOT. ( he did I found out later, so the only explanation is.. I'm hot.) ( heh)

I went directly from bed to the shower where I felt breathless and light headed. Afterwards I had to rest on my bed before I got dressed. Weird... I wonder if that's a pregnancy thing or what.

Work was insane. I always open tuesday mornings, tuesday mornings after a holiday monday are pure um... fun. Books and AV materials were piled at tall as I was, plus a cart full of videos. Luckily my superviser helps out on days like that, so the back-dating was done by the time I left. I didn't even get to look inside any of the interloan bins.

After I finish at the library on Tuesday, I go to the Opera House to volunteer in the afternoon. This always begins by Shawna ( the director) and I going out for lunch. I mentioned that Chris wasn't going to his granfather's funeral in Florida. She said that we would be going to a funeral sooner than either of us had thought. She then proceeded to tell me that Jim had died.

Jim is another opera house volunteer. He started at about the same time I did. We went to the same box office training. Then, when I got a job at the library and had to work every other Friday and couldn't do those friday box offices Jim started doing them. Jim was 64 ( I think), twice divorced and a confirmed bachelor. He was always available on short notice if we needed extra help at the O.H. He had two kids, he liked to go to vegas and reno. He was over there at his Aunt's when he passed. I have a note in my planner that Jim can't work Friday the 21st cause he wouldn't be home from his trip yet. He was the happy bachelor uncle I never had, always with a story to share. We would talk about classic cars that we both liked so much. It is so strange that he won't be there to chat with when I arrive at the O.H. after I finish at the library.

Needless to say when Shawna said that I was confused. What? NO... as if it was joke. Then I started to cry... Our gruff waitress sure looked concerned when I paid our check. No one close to me has ever died before. My grandparents were all dead before I was born and then when my great and and uncle died a few years apart it had been so long since I had seen them that it was all a lot more distanced. Now this... a preson that was a friend, with notice at all. I don't even think he was sick. It's hard.

Anyway. R.I.P. Jim Hoverson. You will be missed.

~later